This Grove City columnist is a Steelers fan and he hates you

Every so often, the Internet recognizes all the time we spend with it and blesses us with an article that is almost too good to be true.  And today we have one of those articles. From Allied News in Grove City comes local writer and huge Steelers fan Corey J. Corbin.  Corey doesn't like the Penguins, and he recently shouted it to the Grove City rooftops in an article titled "Random Thoughts: Dislike of Penguins sparked by fans."
 
We kid you not.  This is real.  Innocent-looking guy.  Judging by his bio, he is revved up for another Steelers playoff run and that 7th Lombardi Trophy. 
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Crosby's comeback last Monday could not have been timed worse for Corey, though.  He settled in for some Steelers talk on Monday morning and a big update on LaMarr Woodley's injury status.  Instead, he got blasted in the mouth with this nuisance Crosby.  It took him a couple days, but he got around to summarizing his hate into an article, which we will now summarily tear to shreds.  Please join us…
 
 
He begins:

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I LOVE LISTENING to sports talk radio when I’m driving in my car.

Let's stop right there.  He doesn't love listening to sports talk radio.  He loves listening to Steelers talk on sports talk radio.  Get that in your head as you dig in for the rest of this.

Usually, I listen to 93.7 The Fan when I’m going from Point A to Point B in Grove City, because they, typically, are discussing Pittsburgh sports, which I enjoy listening to. But Monday and Tuesday, I intentionally chose to turn the station and listen to ESPN radio on 96.7, because I knew what The Fan would be talking about all day – Sidney Crosby.  I had no interest in listening to them talk about his return to the starting line-up after almost a year.

Oh, blasphemy!  Get Sidney Crosby off my radio.  I must know what Ike Taylor thinks about Tyler Palko.  I only have from Point A to Point B to get my info.  Damn it.  This guy sucks already.

While they are a Pittsburgh team, the Penguins are in a category reserved for the New York Yankees, the Miami Heat, the Dallas Cowboys, the Baltimore Ravens and any team from the Boston area.  In other words, I hate them with a passion!

Had to read this like three times to try to make sense of it.  We've done extensive research on articles penned by him all over the Internet.  He never mentions an allegiance toward another NHL team.  Hell, he never even mentions hockey at all.  He simply hates hockey.  But to group a prominent Pittsburgh sports teams with villains and say you hate them with a  passion?  That's just bizarre.

I hate the Cowboys, because they think they’re ‘America’s Team’ when they’re not. The Pittsburgh Steelers fill stadiums wherever they go. To me, that’s America’s Team.

Overzealous Steeler fan alert.  Corey was probably born in the mid-'80s and thought he could rewrite everything that happened prior to his birth.  The Cowboys are America's Team.  Nothing is going to change that.  It's an iconic nickname in the most popular sport in the United States.  Get over it.  Jesus.

I hate the Ravens, because they are the Ravens.

Hard-hitting opinion.  Someone pays this guy to write this.

My hatred for the Penguins came about for an entirely different reason – their fans Penguin fans want to talk about how Pittsburgh is more of a hockey town than a football town.

You know the best thing about reading opinion columns?  It's reading through it and cutting through all the bullshit.  We'd like to think we know a Penguins fan or two.  We've never heard one Penguins fan even come close to mentioning that this is a hockey town.  It's a foolish statement for Corey to make, but he had to lay the foundation for this word soup, so he had to run with it and make a completely false generalized statement.  Pretty pathetic.

They want to point to how well they support their team and how densely packed the streets of Pittsburgh were when they won the Stanley Cup.

No.  The city of Pittsburgh was celebrating the Stanley Cup championship while Corey was still watching game tape of Super Bowl XLIII.  He simply couldn't stand the Steelers weren't front and center.

The problem they ignore is they are bandwagon fans! Mellon Arena was sparsely filled about 10 years back when the Pens stunk in between the Mario Lemieux and Sidney Crosby era.

There was an era between Lemieux and Crosby?  Pretty sure there wasn't.  Horribly inaccurate statement, but we've come to expect it with this guy.

Yet when the Penguins started winning once Crosby, Evgeni Malkin and Marc-Andre Fleury, hockey fans started filling The Igloo in record numbers.  Sorry to tell ya folks this, but that’s the very definition of a bandwagon fan!

 

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Oh, real quick.  Check out this excerpt from a piece he wrote about the Pirates in April 2011.
 

I’ve only been to one Pirate game in like 12 years – and that was just too good of a deal to pass up (a $16 ticket and transportation for $20) — but outside of that, I’ve never been inside of PNC Park.


We should note that Corey mentions in that Pirate article that he wasn't going to games because he didn't like what ownership was doing to the team.  Meanwhile, during the Pens' Dark Ages he mentioned above, the Pens weren't exactly breaking the bank to be competitive, either.  We personally went to unlimited games during the Dark Ages because we were in college and tickets were always available. This guy might be the biggest hypocrite we've ever seen.  It's indefensible.  What you say on the Internet echoes in eternity.  Came back to bite him here.

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Meanwhile, the Steelers have sold out Three Rivers Stadium and Heinz Field for what seems like forever, but actually dates back to the 1970s. Even when the Black and Gold stunk in 1980s, they filled Three Rivers Stadium to capacity and if I want my kids to get season tickets for the Steelers, I better sign them up now. Otherwise, they’ll never see them. That, my friends, is the definition of a rabid fan base.

No shit.  It's a football town, dumb ass.  Always will be. Again, his whole basis for being condescending toward Penguins fans is his egregiously false statement that people want to start calling Pittsburgh a hockey town.  No one is saying that, and it isn't a hockey town.  Man.

As far as Crosby goes, I’m glad he’s healthy, but aside from that, I could care less that he’s back on the ice. While I can see the importance of his return to the line-up, I question his importance to the team!

Yeah.  Buckle up for this.

The Pens hovered around near the top of the standings all of last year even when he was lost for the season in early January and have done remarkably well without him this year. I guess that makes him the Tom Brady of the NHL and not the Peyton Manning of the NHL! In case you don’t understand the comparison, I’ll break it down for you. The New England Patriots still managed to reach the 10-win plateau when they lost Brady for the year several years ago and had to start the completely inexperienced Matt Cassel all year.  Meanwhile, the Indianapolis Colts have failed to win a game this year after losing Manning before the season started to neck surgery.

Idiot.  He probably circle-jerked all the way through the article just to get to this big-time comparison, but it's pathetic.  Why didn't Matt Cassel win the Super Bowl for the Patriots that year?  Because he's not an elite talent.  Insert Tom Brady, and the Patriots head to the Super Bowl.  An elite talent helps a well-organized team get over the hump.  No clue what the Peyton Manning comparison is about.  And plus, a decent writer would at least use a hockey example to compare the Crosby situation to.  Just so stupid.

OK now that I’ve wasted enough of my time talking about something trivial as Sidney Crosby and the Penguins, I’ve better turn my attention to more important things in the Pittsburgh sports world – the Steelers’ trek back to the Super Bowl!

 

We have pretty solid troll radar.  And this whole article, and especially this last paragraph, isn't the work of a troll.  It's the work of a guy who, if he gets a paper cut, he bleeds tits and molten iron and pigskin and Coors Light because he takes his lunch pail to work in a truck.

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We used to take this troll road.  Back in the old days of the blog, we jobbed the Steelers nearly every day in a trolling mission.  The angry e-mails from people wondering why we couldn't like both the Steelers and Penguins got us through many rough days.  But all of the "Steeler hate" on the blog has disappeared over time.  It just got tired.  We're behind the Steelers as much as the next Pittsburgh sports fan, and the only reason this blog you're reading exists is BECAUSE this is a football town.  We push the Pens as much as we can because we know there are a lot of Pens fans out there who don't get their fix because football talk is how this city's radio stations and newspapers make money.

There's probably a divide between hardcore Steelers fans and hardcore Pens fans somewhere in Pittsburgh.  We've never seen it up close, but it has to be there.  But for a guy to come out and say he flat-out hates one of those teams with a passion?  There's a plea for help there.  Corey is all Steelers, all football, all the time, and simply couldn't stomach it last week when a world-class athlete returned to the Penguins roster when he would have rather jerked off to chatter about Hines Ward being phased out of the offense.  No clue what this guy does during the summer.  

We ain't even mad.  We just want to get this guy some help.  Guaranteed he goes to random high-school football games. We've invited Corey to appear on a podcast Monday night and defend this article.  We shall see.
 

 

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