RECAP: Penguin Protocol. PENS WIN.

 
So what is it? Are the Penguins so good that they can be missing like $20 million in salary and go out and beat the number-one team in the NHL? Are the Penguins so whatev that a number-one team like the Blackhawks are so overconfident that they lose the game before it is even played?
 
Absolutely no clue. This year has been so utterly bizarre that trying to figure anything out isn't worth it. How would you provide analysis on this game? The Penguins got off to a 3-0 lead, Chicago was like oh shit, they came storming back, hit a few posts, time ran out. Peace.
 
And it's no surprise Evgeni Malkin is dominating right now. The signs have been there all season. After missing the time he did, there were going to be some hiccups. But because of his training and the fact he is better than almost everybody, this was going to happen.
 
We got some more shit. Keep reading.

Hey, Victor Stalberg, you scored two goals mainly through the hard work of others. Your thoughts?

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"We basically handed them two points," Stalberg said. "We have to play like we did in the third for a full game. It's as simple as that."
 
 
 
 
This game was kind of chippy from the get-go. Brian Bickell was chirping James Neal right off the opening faceoff. Pierre McButtplug was between the glass for the game. If there was one time we wanted to know what was going on it was then. But of course nothing.
 
The Pens had a power play but couldn't score. But pay attention to this. Simon Despres tried to save a puck from going offsides, but he couldn't. It was really close. Doc Emrick went into some tangent about the refs getting everything right,and seeing everything.
 
Fast-forward.  The game really got going when Engo leveled some guy. Maybe it was a headshot, but apparently the refs, who see almost everything, didn't think it was a headshot because they didn't call a penalty on Engo.
 
John Scott, who is way too big to be in the NHL, fought Engo.
 
Scott got a penalty for instigating, and the Pens went to work on the powerplayMalkin found Kunitz city. Sick move on Ray Emery. 1-0.
 
Nothing really big happened the rest of the first.
 
The Pens got two goals in the second. One early by James Neal to make it 2-0.
 
Big-time snipe by Neal.
 
The other goal was created on a great rush by Ben Lovejoy, who dished to TK. TK phoned home.
 
3-0.
 
Pissed.
 
Seriously.  Look at him.
pic from Tom S.
 
Quennville could totally be some type of sheriff in the next big western movie. The movie would be called something like "The Last Hard Ride To Denver" or something.
 
The Blackhawks didn't do shit until the third period.  They went into "too good" mode. Stalberg and Toews teamed up for some bizarre 2-on-1 goal. 3-1.
 
Then Hossa, Kane, and Stalberg scored a a sweet tic-tac-toe goal with plenty of time left in the third. 3-2.
Nasty goal.
 
Bylsma needed a timeout.
 
 
Not sure if the timeout worked, but the Pens ended up winning so, yeah, maybe it did. The Blackhawks hit two posts and had a shit-ton of chances. Each time, Fleury stood tall.
 
James Neal took a penalty at the end of the game. 1:30 left. How many times have the Penguins penalty kill ended a game? They did it again, Matt Cooke carried the flag, and MAF made one last save.
 
 
Game.
 
 

MISC

  • Malkin won 16 faceoffs.
  • Niskanen and Orpik with 23 minutes played
  • Eddie Olsucks sucks
  • Pens were outshot 19-4 in the third.
 

FAILS

  • Pierre is paying attention:

  • Who is Evan Malkin? Sounds like someone who would star in a show on the WB.

thanks for whoever sent that via our app.

  • Versus needs a QA department

 
 
 
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