Regards, Pens fans.
P.S. suck our balls.
The first game back from a long road trip is usually a mess. Not last night. It was business as usual for the Penguins. They grinded the Sabres down, got an insurance goal, and helped damage the Sabres' playoff chances in the process. Only thing missing was someone peeing on Lindy Ruff.
FSN showed this graphic somewhere in the third period. Steigerwald talked about it and basically went down on the Penguins organization on the air, saying how they've played through unlimited injuries. Curious starting date for this little stat. Oh, that's right. November 12th was the start of the Pens long winning streak. What a stupid stat to show. man. Whoever gave this the green light should be fired. Show their record since January 3rd or whatever. shit.
Anthem of the night: Stephen B.
Got to say it was weird that Bylsma didn't have Kovy in the starting lineup in his return to Pittsburgh.
Maybe he forgot or some shit.
Therrien never forgot that shit. He started Laraque in Edmonton, Roberts in Calgary, and Ruutu in Vancouver during that Canadian swing where MAF messed his shit up. Just saying.
Apparently there's a Neidermayer still in the NHL.
He barrels in on MAF and scores.
To make matters worse, he exposes MAF's Lloyd Christmas haircut. 1-0.
Now, imagine if Rudy sucked at football when he got his chance in the movie Rudy.
That's basically Max Talbot right now.
Minus the homoerotic scenes with that tailback.
Dupuis-Jeffrey-Cooke almost score on a nice passing play.
Ryan Miller gets lucky with a save on Jeffrey.
Pens had to kill some penalty, so they did.
Well, they killed around half of it because the Sabres get caught with too many men,.
James Neal does an unreal jump into the boards to buy a call. Smart. No idea why any NHL player (except Matt Cooke) would hit a player with his back turned. Penalty every time.
Pens get s 5-on-3 for a minute or so from that.
That gets killed, and Ennis gets an HOV lane breakaway.
MAF makes the stop.
Then the rest gets killed.
One of the worst 5-on-3 powerplays of all time.
Guaranteed the Bee Gees could've killed that penalty.
The Sabres ran the Pens net again after that.
Engelland wanted to take someone.
Some idiot elbows the Island, and the Pens get another PP.
PERIOD RECAP: Ben Lovejoy played his best period of hockey as a Penguin.
Man, it feels like Ray Shero is getting the short end of the traaaaaaaaaaaaaa……….
NEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL TIIIIIME. 1-1.
It was the monkey off of Neal's sac.
Neal entered Keyboard smash mode.
The Ryan Miller collapse was coming.
Michalek gets it at the point. The puck floats through the air.
No clue why Ryan Miller was down. He has no chance. 2-1.
He goes back to celebrate the goal with MAF.
That's where his mind was at. What a player.
Then the Pens work to get a PP.
Killed. Kovalev had some turnovers, so did Tyler Kennedy.
Kunitz goes to the box. Nice sale of the call by Emo Miller. He'd make a good salesman, but he'd probably get tired right before closing the deal.
Michalek blocked everything. Killed.
Lovejoy Irish-whips Ennis into the turnbuckle. An eerie hit, considering what Chara did.
The Sabres are dumb and seek revenge.
Look how mad that guy is.
Another guarantee: This won't be in one of those "caption this photo" ESPN.com contests.
Pens get a PP. Killed.
Pens had a 3-on-1.
Talbot may have torn a hamstring whiffing on a shot.
Pens take a mysterious too-many-men penalty.
Pens kill it to end the second.
PERIOD RECAP: The Penguins have played their best all season with 10 minutes left in the second period. Makes limited sense.
The only people whose lips should be that red are clowns. We rest our case. The look on that dude's face is what your 2-year-old nephew looks like when he's taking a stealth shit. Unreal handjobs from that girl, though. Bank on it.
Gaustad high-stick-saves a scoring chance. In a list of most annoying players that play against the Penguins, Gaustad would be a surprise pick. Dick.
Powerplay comes out to mess around.
Then Kunitz gets jobbed. Kunitz was everywhere in this game.
Penguins refuse to score a powerplay goal, though.
Emo Miller might have made a save.
FSN did a great job reminding everyone why Kunitz is a force.
It felt like the Sabres were going to score and tie the game. But not tonight.
Michalek shot. Test Tube. 3-1. Neal started it.
What a deflection by Test Tube.
Worst part of finally getting the 3-1 lead was watching Buffalo almost getting one back.
But MAF shut the door.
Emo got pulled,
MAF went for the empty net, but it didn't work.
Nothing else happened except this guy's hair:
thanks to Bshark for the tip. wtf
Not sure if we ever explained it, but this is the pic we use for the magic number. It is of David Copperfield. Pens number is 18
Pens sweep the season series with Buffalo for the first time since 07-08
Jordan Staal played 27+ minutes