Remember when that narrator on 24/7 was going on that rant about hockey and getting all emotional, saying things like hockey is a beautiful game blah blah blah blah? Sometimes, without warning, hockey can turn into something very ugly, as if you just woke up with it in a Snuggie. And that is what the Minnesota game can be summed up as: Ugly. Balls-to-the-wall, don't-tell-your-friends-what-you-did ugly.
Not even Bear Grylls himself, wearing two full sticks of Degree, could have made this game more exciting. We're all about Minnesota being the real Hockeytown, but we are withdrawing our support for Minnesota to get a Winter Classic. New Year's Day living rooms would look like Jonestown.
Not posting anthems or anything. Going into GMAIL after this game would be like a Hiroshima victim being like i ain't even mad.
Looked like a real quick glass fix a few seconds in. No word on whether the Penguins plan to sell it. The first 6 minutes of the game was sheer nothingness, so Steiggy and Errey played verbal grab-ass to kill the time.
Rupp-Adams-Asham settle into a groove.
And then the Pens head to the box.
Somehow, that power play was less exciting than 5-on-5.
Stoner for the Wild catches Staal in a shitty position. Wasn't a penalty, but Pens get a PP 'cause a member of the Wild was caught holding a stick. Killed.
Kobasew…what he did… 1-0.
Then, to be dicks, the Wild score again.
Martin Havlat. 2-0.
Pens play like pure butthole to start.
They end up having to kill some 5-on-3 action.
They do it, and they get some jump in their shit.
Letestu goes to the box.
Talbot has a chance shorthanded. Then he has another one.
No dice. WTF. Pens kill it.
Pens survive some shit and get a PP.
Wild end up getting a solid chance on the PK. Killed.
What a boring game.
Z drops a bomb but hits the post.
Pens start buzzing big time.
Fourth line was the most consistent all night.
Every Penguin falls basically, then the Wild go the other way.
Clutterjoke gets a job as a librarian and goes top shelf. 3-0.
Penguins decide to pull the goalie with 3 minutes left for some reason. 4-0.
Let's just move on.