This game was a lot like the movie Little Giants, except the Cowboys won the big game and there weren't any future lesbians on the field. An actual line for the Red Wings in this game: Tomas Tatar – Justin Abdelkader – Jan Mursak. Ouch.
This game was a lot like the Wild game. 
Only difference is the Pens won.
Seems strange that a Wings/Pens game would be devoid of emotion, but this game was.
There wasn't even a play where Johan Franzen got injured and the Red Wings could blame the Pens.
Red Wings had Joey MacDonald in net.  He sucks a little bit more than Chris Osgood, so the Pens handled him. Henrik Zetterberg played 1-on-5 most of the night. MAF had to make some big saves.
Blah Blah Blah.
Move along.  Nothing to see here.
Early on, Fleury gets away with a high stick on Darren Helm behind the net.

Joey MacDonald gets MAFitis and doesn't know what to do when he handles a puck.  

Kennedy gets it out to a waiting Staal.  1-0.

Right after that, Malkin intercepts a bad Kronwall pass.
He shoots it before anyone in the arena can even stand up.  Save.
At the other end, Bertuzzi almost scores on a redirection.

Shit kept happening. Malkin creating some chances. Dupuis hits a pipe.
Zetterbeg has a chance, but MAF eats his lunch.

At one point during the first period, it was Zetterberg versus the Penguins.

Conner gets a breakaway out of nowhere.
He does everything he can to get a shot off.  Save.

Kunitz destroys Flipper behind the Wings' net.
Cooke sets up Conner on another breakaway.
Conner gets jobbed, and it's penalty shot city.
Pens haven't scored on a penalty shot since Jarkko Ruutu scored against the Leafs.
He makes a move and eminent-domains MacDonald's farm. 2-0.
Got a lot of videos of the penalty shot.
J. Hardy wins because he put it on YouTube.

Period recap: Worst period we've ever seen a Red Wings team play.
Funny hearing the name Tatar.

Wings come out all business to start the second.
Cooke trips up Rafalski, and the Wings get a PP.
Pens kill it off.

But the Pens were back in the box 8 seconds later.  Kunitz takes a penalty.
Michalek stops a Zetterberg goal.
Another kill.

The Pens finally can start doing shit.  Malkin was everywhere.  Rupp gets tripped up.  Looked like him and Salei got their skates tangled.  Good to see that even new Red Wings still bitch, although it was a bad call anyway. Pens get the PP.

Good movement on the PP, and the puck finds its way to Malkin set up on Jagr Street.
He makes a sick pass to Letang, or maybe it was a shot. 
Letang partly fans on it, part vomits on himself.  And then celebrates a no-goal.

Right after that, the evil twin of Goose returns.

Goalagainstski makes some bizarre play springing a Wang.
Letang has to get on his horse and tackle the dude.
4-on-4, and the Pens kill Letang's shit.

Late in the second, the Wings make a pretty play and put home a goal.

The Red Wings were everywhere.  They had it coming.  2-1.
Look at the ref.  Excited that something is actually happening.

But Malkin brings the Pens right back.
He passes to Kunitz, who tees it up for Dupes.  Kunitz puts home the rebound.  3-1.
PERIOD RECAP: MAF made saves all day, but the second period was his best.
He had an ongoing battle with Zetterberg, and he won.
The best part about the third? 
The Pens looked a two-goal lead in the face and cradled its breasts.
MAF city
Malkin haters were given a breath of life when he committed some turnovers.
Guaranteed Mark Madden and Tim Benz high-fived when it happened.
Some dude named Kindl took a penalty, but the Pens didn't do anything.
Goalagainstski returned when he basically skated away from a puck to avoid getting hit.
Cooke-Staal-Kennedy did some stuff.
Nothing happened in this third period.  Nothing.
With under a few minutes to play, the Wangs had to pull MacDonald.
TK gets another assist as he slides it to Cooke for the empty net.
NOTES: starting to have a big season.  16 goals. was hard to watch. don't gain any ground on the Flyers. Flyers refuse to lose. chick behind the Pens' penalty box dressed in Wings shit was annoying.
Some said she was pregnant. got his 100th career point.
Wish there was a site that let you see how many points a player has with other players.
Would be interesting to see how many points have come with Staal on the ice.