RECAP: Eleven Test Tubes A-Testing. PENS WIN.

 
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Bing and the Pens were dominating so hard at one point in this game that they even made Oprah cry.
 
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This wasn't even a game until Toronto used some theatrics and a gift four-minute powerplay to make things interesting for ten minutes in third period. Don't even think about discounting some saves that Marc-Andre Fleury made in the third to prevent a disaster from occurring.
 
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It would have been a disaster, too, because the Penguins completely humbled the goon Leafs through the first two periods. It all culminated in a three-minute monster mash in which the Pens scored three goals.
 
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Courtesy of Dr. Mirtle, here is audio from coach Ron Wilson's post-game media shit.
He walks off mid-question at the very end.
 

The Pens have now won 11 straight games. Sidney Crosby is on a 17-game scoring streak. He has reached DEFCON 1 of FU mode. Ever since Brandon Wineisky called him "dirty," he has gone off for eight goals in four games. We can only imagine what else will piss him off:

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Yeah, maybe this.
 
The Pens' upcoming schedule takes its foot off the pedal however.  Only 4 games in the next 13 days.
It's gonna buy some time for Malkin and Staal to see where they're at.
But it's also gonna keep the hottest team in the NHL away from the rink a little bit more.
 
 
nick z, whistler, Pittsburghler, Matt S., DT, Eric Chase, clwatt3.
Great effort from                         @DustinJohns
 
 
 
Almost immediately the Leafs give the puck away to Kunitz.  He gets to to Crosby and Sid almost scores.  The Pens have some good pressure in the Leafs' zone.  The buzzers line creates some chaos, which they're good at.  The Adams/Rupp/Godard line continues to put the pressure on.  Colton Orr grabs the puck, but he sees Engelland in the distance and immediately gives it back to the Pens.
 
The Leafs finally clear the zone, but do nothing with their opportunity.
 
Then there's a too many men.
The Leafs clear the puck and almost behead Pierre McGuire with it.  We approve.
 
Crosby and Armstrong get into a lover's quarrel.  Sid gets the penalty because the ref feels bad for Colby.  Sid probably took that penalty as a favor to his friend.  Four-on-four and Kennedy gets a good chance.  The Leafs do nothing on their short powerplay.
 
Kunitz hits the post, but Sid collects the garbage and buries it.  
The scoring streak is 17 games.  His 25th of the season.  1-0.
 
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Colby cries in his $3 million.  Kennedy gets the puck, dishes it to Conner, but the Monster makes a save.  
The Pens are leading in faceoffs 11-0 at this point.
 
The Leafs get a few chances, but can't do anything with them.  The Pens ice the puck and they win another faceoff.  It's like mens against boys at this point.  Asham gets the penalty and the Leafs are on the powerplay.  Phil Kessel vomits on himself after Kaberle sets him up.  Brian Burke sends another draft pick to Boston just for fun.
 
The Leafs finally win a faceoff.  The Penguins kill the penalty and get the puck in the Leafs' zone.  Crosby is possessed in this game, determined to make Armstrong cry again.  Orr and Engelland go at it again as Orr tries to regain some of his dignity.  It drags on for a while.  Engelland pops him a couple of times, but nothing really happens.  Orr takes his one-dimensional ass to the box.
 
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regrettable pic for that dude in yellow
 
Just a pathetic attempt by Orr to try and recover some of his ruined reputation.
 
Kessel gets a chance in front, but he's Phil Kessel, so he blows it.  The Pens ice it.  With the Leafs pressuring and the Pens unable to make a line change, Bylsma calls a timeout.  Crosby finally loses a faceoff.  It doesn't matter because the Pens clear it.
 
Bad giveaway in the Leafs' zone and Conner is all over it.  Letestu with a good chance.  Job, job, job.
 
Cooke with an opportunity, but his stick breaks.  
More pressure from the Pens as the period ends.  The shots were 13-4 for the Pens that period.
 
PERIOD RECAP: The Leafs are pretty bad.
 
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Not a whole lot going on to begin the period. 
The Leafs take a too many men on the ice because they are poorly coached.  Ron Wilson looks shocked.
The Pens powerplay doesn't do much at all.  Craig Adams takes a penalty for boarding, and then the fun begins.
 
Toronto falls apart on the powerplay. They get lazy, and Dupes makes them pay.  He books past the entire team on a play that had no business being anything of the sort. Even better, Kunitz joins him on a two-on-none. Dupes waits out the Monster and then shits on his face.  2-0.
 
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After the penalty is killed, Adams gets sprung on a breakaway.  He misses the net.
 
Then the Buzzers Line comes out. 
New official .GIF for the Buzzers Line:
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Chris Conner is nuts.  Him and TK start wrecking Leafs. 
Kris Versteeg is terrible at defense. Test Tube splashes acid on him.  3-0.
 
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It gets better.  The Leafs are melting down.  Candy hits Kunitz on a great outlet pass.
Kunitz uses his Crosby Vision™ and dishes to Bing.  Goal city.  4-0.
 
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Something else that is official. We have the Crosby face.
He makes the same face whenever he is about to do something heroic.
 
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argyleblog on the right.  impressive color coordination.
 
Three goals in 3:12.  Jesus.
 
Phil Kessel probably didn't see it because he had his head down.
Mike Komisarek starts being a dick and fights Asham.
 
MAF two-hands Versuck in front of the net. Both get penalties.
The period ends with some dude trying to job Orpik.
 
Crosby had some bizarre blocked shot attempt that looked like he was pooping.
 
PERIOD RECAP:  Had to be humbling for Toronto.  Really embarrassing.
 
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Right out of the gate, Bing almost scores some unrealistic goal.  Shit.
 
Then things get out of control.  Ron Wilson starts sending goons to go after Crosby and rattle the cages. Sheriff Godard ends that real quick, and he beats Rosebud's face in after he runs Paul Martin and Crosby.
 
Somehow, the Pens get an extra four penalty minutes. Needless to say, Wilson's plan worked.
 
The Leafs get a powerplay goal quick. 4-1.
They just came back from this same deficit against the Capitals.  Horrible feelings set in.
 
Then Boom. Grabovski unleashes a disgusting wrist shot 4-2.
 
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All of a sudden, the Leafs are alive and well.
HazMat teams jump out of a van on Center Avenue. 
Devivo runs around battening down the doors at the gates.
 
But MAF is working overtime at the power plant.
He makes huge saves on Kessel and former Pen Tim Brent.
 
Tick-tick-tick.  That's the sound of Ron Wilson's employment running out.
 
At one point, the the Pens only had one shot.
Then Chris Conner lights someone up with a huge hit after picking someone's pocket earlier on the shift.
Test Tube gets the puck in the Leafs zone.

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5-2.

Thanks for playing.  Kris Versteeg had on of the worst defensive plays of the decade on that play.

Game.

 

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_fw7iF68JR8k/TMI97_39dlI/AAAAAAABbek/o4WUxdkJBuw/golddot.jpg Paul Martin is just on another level defensively. Incredible.
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_fw7iF68JR8k/TMI97_39dlI/AAAAAAABbek/o4WUxdkJBuw/golddot.jpg Ron Wilson sucks
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_fw7iF68JR8k/TMI97_39dlI/AAAAAAABbek/o4WUxdkJBuw/golddot.jpg How long of a point streak is Kunitz on?
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_fw7iF68JR8k/TMI97_39dlI/AAAAAAABbek/o4WUxdkJBuw/golddot.jpg 20 wins for the Pens.
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_fw7iF68JR8k/TMI97_39dlI/AAAAAAABbek/o4WUxdkJBuw/golddot.jpg We want to publicly deny that we are to blame for the "wooing" at games. But not sure how much that can be believed being that one of us just dressed up as the nature boy.
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_fw7iF68JR8k/TMI97_39dlI/AAAAAAABbek/o4WUxdkJBuw/golddot.jpg At the end of this video, Eric Godard tells Rob Rossi's he sucks. [ Trib ]
 

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3.  MAF.  Just for the third period alone.

2.  Chris Kunitz.  3 ass.
1.  Test Tube.
 
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Go Pens
 
 
 

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