Unemployed

PENSBLOG GUARDIAN PROJECT: The Unemployed

Upon taking a look at the NHL's Guardian Project, it's come to our attention that some of the characters didn't exactly embody their respective franchises. So, with the help of Stephen S., we've decided to correct some of the Guardian Project's mistakes. If you have any ideas for any other Pensblog Guardian characters, leave it in the comments. We already have Toronto, Philly, Washington, Columbus and Montreal.
 
Here is Detroit:
 
 
THE UNEMPLOYED
 
 
BIO:
 
He was once a rich and well-respected car salesman in downtown Detroit.  After the economy fell apart, he started obsessing over conspiracies theories as to why it was happening and why he wasn't getting the respect he deserved.  Winning salesman of the year four times in eleven years had spoiled him.  He expected to win each year and it drove him mad that he didn't.  Then, one day in late June 2009, after a customer didn’t shake his hand after a deal, it all fell apart for him.  He stormed out of the dealership never to be seen living his once normal life again.  This dirty scoundrel now lives in the drudges of the Motor City, coming up from the sewers only to scream about being treated unfairly and to gloat about his past accomplishments.  He has an overwhelming stench of doom and eats octopi for every meal.  He clutches and grabs his enemies while complaining about disrespect and frequently he talks to the police chief despite not having the proper captaincy level.  He's old.

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