8:53am – Get out of the shower and step up to the sink to brush and floss. While brushing, you realize your shaving gel/cream and razor have no business being on the sink ledge and put them up in the medicine cabinet. Close the cabinet and check your beard's progress in the mirror.
9:00am – You should be dressed and deodorized and grabbing your keys.
9:37am — Knowingly nod to some person in traffic that has a Pens window cling on their back window.
10:00am — Arrive late to work and browse the Internet for playoff previews.
10:46am — Look busy as your sixth sense picks up on your boss entering your realm.
10:48am – Return to the Internet.
12:07pm – Time your lunch break to coincide with the new girl's lunch break.
12:08pm-12:38pm – Eat lunch and browse the Internet on a mobile device for playoff news, completely forget about the girl.
12:38pm-5:03pm – Probably have to do some work and partake in awkward conversations with fringe co-workers.
5:04pm – Leave work early.
6:07pm – Arrive home, remove pants, and begin contemplating dinner.
6:08pm – Eat cereal.
6:23pm – Realize you should wash the Pens apparel you're wearing to work on Wednesday. (optional)
7:08pm-11:03pm – Do stuff.
11:05pm — Google pics of Melissa Joan Hart.
11:10pm-11:12pm – Omitted.
11:15pm — Pass out.
7:38am – Do coke and attempt to run through brick walls all day listening to Sleeping Sickness on repeat.
7:38pm – Face-off.