8:53am — Get out of the shower and step up to the sink to brush and floss. While brushing, you realize your shaving gel/cream and razor have no business being on the sink ledge and put them up in the medicine cabinet. Close the cabinet and check your beard's progress in the mirror.
9:00am — You should be dressed and deodorized and grabbing your keys.
9:37am — Knowingly nod to some person in traffic that has a Pens window cling on their back window.
10:00am — Arrive late to work and browse the Internet for playoff previews.
10:46am — Look busy as your sixth sense picks up on your boss entering your realm.
10:48am — Return to the Internet.
12:07pm — Time your lunch break to coincide with the new girl's lunch break.
12:08pm-12:38pm — Eat lunch and browse the Internet on a mobile device for playoff news, completely forget about the girl.
12:38pm-5:03pm — Probably have to do some work and partake in awkward conversations with fringe co-workers.
5:04pm — Leave work early.
6:07pm — Arrive home, remove pants, and begin contemplating dinner.
6:08pm — Eat cereal.
6:23pm — Realize you should wash the Pens apparel you're wearing to work on Wednesday. (optional)
7:08pm-11:03pm — Do stuff.
11:05pm — Google pics of Melissa Joan Hart.
11:10pm-11:12pm — Omitted.
11:15pm — Pass out.
7:38am — Do coke and attempt to run through brick walls all day listening to Sleeping Sickness on repeat.
7:38pm — Face-off.