Dumbest article on the Internet

This is basically becoming a Flyers blog.  We love it.  A Bleacher Report article went up recently, titled 6 Reasons Philadelphia Flyers Will Be Better Than Pittsburgh Penguins.  Bleacher Report contributors have basically been told by their keepers to do these countdown articles, which are slideshows designed to increase page views and ad revenue.  It's more or less destroying the Internet.
 
Sam Rucky of the Bleacher Report was the genius behind this recent article listing reasons why the Flyers will be better than the Penguins this year.  Here's what we're dealing with:
 
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That screenshot is not altered. "One of the unsung heroes of the second half of the Penguins' 2010-2011 season."  That's actually what this guy typed and placed onto the Internet.
 
Other things mentioned in the "article"…
 

Brayden Schenn and Sean Couturier are exceptionally gifted two-way players with elite skill sets. Both are physical forwards capable of winning puck battles in the corners and dropping the gloves with opponents. Both are projected to develop into All-Stars at the NHL level. The Penguins, for their part, don't have an answer to the Flyers' level of young talent. If Schenn and Couturier can continue along their projected development curves, they could be difference makers in the Atlantic Division.

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Jesus.
Then Sam Rucky basically beats off on the Flyers blue line:
 
The Penguins quite simply do not have the same level of talent on the blueline as the Flyers. If the old adage "defense wins championships" holds true, it should be the Flyers, not the Penguins, hoisting the Atlantic Division Championship.
 
Is it even possible to hoist a division championship?  Then the guy mentions how the Flyers had a better offseason than the Penguins, even though they traded away about 93% of their offensive production.
 
Then we come to the topic of goaltenders.

Adding an established star like Bryzgalov to a team with a defense as deep and talented as the one in Philadelphia can only mean good things for the Flyers and bad things for the Penguins in 2011-12.  The Penguins will return otherworldly talented but maddeningly inconsistent Marc-Andre Fleury between the pipes. At least on paper, the Flyers finally have the advantage between the pipes.

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And then finally comes the topic of Sidney Crosby.  From what we can gather, Sam Rucky thinks Sidney Crosby has retired:

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Pens fans hate Flyers fans.  Flyers fans hate Pens fans.  But if you're at some dive bar watching a game with a Flyer fan, the two of you can actually get along if you realize the Flyer fan actually knows his hockey.  Sam Rucky will never be that Flyer fan.  This was just an embarrassing display.

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