Linkus contra mundum.
The soundwaves from Ryan Mill's mouth have caused tsunamis to form in the Pacific Rim.
So there's no way in hell the ice surface right under his balls will be in tip-top shape.
Mario Lemieux is nowhere to be found in the length column.
In the history of sports journalism, Derek Jenkins is nowhere to be found.
-Thanks to Paul R. for the link.
Chris H. sent this next one in.
for using his hands to simulate a blowjob gesture toward Sean Avery.
What's scary is that the Matt Cooke/Marc Savard hit is brought into the discussion.
They talk about Wiz's and Avery's respective suspensions for blowjobs and sloppy seconds.
But noted dirtbag Matt Cooke? The repeat offender who ruined Marc Savard’s season (and by extension, his team’s) and brought his career to a screeching halt after a cheap-shot elbow last March? He got to play again, the very next game, and still continues to ply his weak-ass version of a ‘trade’ after not being suspended or fined.
Our memory is kind of vague, but wasn't the Bruins' season ruined when they choked a 3-0 series lead to Philly?
Anyway, we continued searching their website for other Bruins news.
But all you get are posts about tits, beer, and Justin Bieber.
In the Toronto gameday, Rick posted the Maple Leafs' parade route:
But we caught Sean Leahy mentioning on Twitter that this has been done before.
Were the parade participants expected to teleport to the different streets?
Speaking of the Leafs, the game the other night reminded us of this classic: