Grading the Eastern Conference trading deadline

The deadline has come and gone, and teams are digging in for the homestretch.  The Penner-to-L.A. deal was the big move of the day yesterday, but it seems the Neal/Niskanen/GoGo trade is coming out on top as the smoke is clearing.
 
Still, it's time to assess what all the Eastern Conference teams did. For this evaluation, we're using the Sofia Vergara Voluptuous Breast (SVVB) scale, which is a 2-20 scale, with 20 being the best.
 
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The standings as of Tuesday morning:
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Here we go.
 
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They traded for Kris Versteeg, who was a player the Pens were rumored to have wanted.
They also claimed d-man Nick Boynton on waivers.
 
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That's a solid 16.
Flyers didn't really need to solidify their blue line.
And they got some extra offense.
 
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Tampa doesn't need help scoring, and they even have some injuries they're battling through.
They brought in former Blues captain, d-man Eric Brewer, to help the blue line.
They also released Dan Ellis.
 
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That's 20.
Anyone who gives Dan Ellis more #problems is great.
 
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The B's are stacked.
They somehow got that Peverley dude from Atlanta, not to mention Chris Kelly from Ottawa.
And they also made a splash by getting Tomas Kaberle.
 
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Only a 2, because they didn't set Mark Recchi on fire.
 
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The Caps added Jason Arnott, Dennis Wideman, and Marco Sturm to their roster.
They're still missing a shutdown D-man for a deep playoff run.
And they still have no-name goaltenders.
 
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That's 14.  Caps definitely got stronger.
 
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Canadiens stacked the house on the back end, adding Paul Mara and Brent Sopel.
Looks like they're gonna do that rope-a-dope shit again in the playoffs this season.
 

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Montreal sucks.
 
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Don't forget about them acquiring Wojtek Wolski.
They also acquired d-man Bryan McCabe, who we thought was actually Wade Redden.
 
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Lundqvist is still in net.  Choke.
 
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Carolina shocked the hockey world by acquiring Cory Stillman, the shocking part being that most of the hockey world didn't even know Cory Stillman wasn't on the Hurricanes roster.

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Depends on whether it's Cam or Sham Ward shows up down the stretch.
 
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Big-time orgy going on in Buffalo, with the new owner and all that.  People are going nuts.
Good.  Buffalo's an unreal hockey town.  They deserve it.
They acquired Brad Boyes, too.  Solid.
 
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Ryan Miller is still in net.
 
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Brian Burke probably traded for Teemu Selanne or something.
 

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They get a 20.  Luck of the draw, considering we haven't seen 20 breasts in a while.
 
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Who knows.

 
 
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whatev
 

 

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