There's a handful of reasons we are infatuated with the female portion of the Pens new Ice Crew.
#1 — It's August. There is absolutely nothing else going on.
#2 — Because we knew one of the ladies was going to fall at the skating tryouts.
#3 — We are red-blooded males whose sexual orientation leans toward the advancement of mankind.
For anyone out there who's pissed that bare midriffs will take to the ice at the 6-minute, 10-minute, and 14-minute mark of each period, please keep #3 in mind. The male mind is a fragile thing. When this bi-gender Ice Crew gets unleashed onto the ice, expect the male members to be the ones manning the section around Marc-Andre Fleury and in front of the Penguins bench…while the female members are sent with guns blazing to the opposing goalie's crease and the opposing team's bench. It's a distinct mental advantage that, if employed by the Penguins, will buy them at least 5 extra wins on home ice. Count on it.
But let's backtrack to #2 on that list above.
If there is a God, someone will make a .GIF of that fall at 0:14.
Please. Please. Please. E-mail it to us. Please. Please. Please.
That girl probably thought she was trying out for the next season of Jersey Shore.
What a mistake.
Including this excellent quote:
“It was a little nerve-wracking because some girls came out happy while others were a little shaky,” Erica Corteal said. “That got you wondering, ‘What are they going to ask me?’ They asked me who influenced me the most and what were the most inspirational words they have said to me. I told them my parents because they have always told me to have fun and be myself.”
Sorry. Don't care who you are.
No one's parent has ever told their child "to have fun and be yourself."
“You had to put pressure on it because it had to stay along the ice. Skating around with it the wind kind of takes it if you don’t keep it straight. You just had to bend your knees and really get into it.”
That's what she said.
That is all. Please someone make a .GIF of that.