The Stars only finished 7 points out of the playoffs last year.
They finished 6 games over .500.
Their powerplay was far from penis, finished 12th in the NHL at 18.6%.
Their penalty-kill was unfiltered anal leakage: 4th-worst in the NHL at 77.4%.
Looks like Kari Lehtonen is their starting goalie this upcoming season.
Mike Modano left town for Detroit. But this will always be our favorite clip of his:
For our season preview this year, we are connecting every team to a TV series from the '90s.
The most obvious choice is a show we were too young to care about, so we aren't using it.