With people falling over themselves trying to christen the CONSOL Energy Center with some hip nickname, we tend to lean the other way and contemplate shooting ourselves.
We'll just start calling it something dumb in recaps because we don't want to type out CONSOL Energy Center every day.
f that.
If the hip nickname isn't in the lexicon by now, it never will be.
Some nicknames that have been circulated:
— The Con
— The Fuse Box
— The Power Plant
— The Ice Box
— The Anus
Hypothetical situation #1:
MAN #1: What's up?  Where you going tonight?
MAN #2: Heading down to the CONSOL Energy Center to watch a hockey contest.
Hypothetical situation #2:
MAN #1: What's up? Where you going tonight?
MAN #2: Heading down to the anus for the Pens game.
Hypothetical situation #3:
MAN #1: I want some grape drink.
MAN #2: Don't go to The Power Plant, then.  They only sell RC stuff.
Hypothetical situation #4:
MAN #1: Yo, you heading down to the Fuse Box for the Pens game tonight?
MAN #2: Wow.  You're gay.
Got us thinking.
Here are some arena nicknames from around the NHL:
The Shark Tank.  Best one in the NHL.
The Pond.  Yeah, that works.
Used to be called General Motors Place.
Nickname was The Garage.
Pepsi Center.  The Can.
Philips Arena.  The Bulb.  dumb.
The Joe.  Yeah.
The Phone Booth.  Verizon Center.
There's a whole bunch more on the Wiki page.
Did you notice the two best nicknames in that short list above?
The Shark Tank and The Pond.  Why?
Because it directly correlates with the team name and has nothing to do with arena's naming rights.
Makes you realize how great the Civic Arena was.
It was the igloo.  It was shaped like an igloo.  Penguins played there.
It could not have been more perfect.
Even when Mellon acquired the naming rights, the building still resembled a melon.
But now the Pens play in a Costco.
Don't remember seeing penguins walking around doing shit last time we were at a Costco.
So, if you want the CONSOL Energy Center to have a nickname come Hell or high water,
save your entire family the embarrassment and associate it with penguins and not the sponsor.
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PUCK DADDY, who is still number-one in the business, dug up all of the responses from Red Wang Nation in regards to a recent Buccigross column that says Zetterberg and Datsyuk, gasp, are past their primes.
Go here to check out the actually Bucci column.

Here is George Malik's whinefest.

Red Wings fans, aside from a couple of level-headed people, can't believe that an analyst thinks the Wings "dynasty" is done. Bucci gave truckloads of corroborating proof that the NHL is a young man's game; that players will put up their seasonal career highs before they reach at least 30 years of age. The two most dynamic players on the Wings roster, Zett and Dats, are 29 and 31, respectively.

Couple that with Nick Lidstrom reaching the end of his road, the ever-shaky situation in the Detroit net, a serious injury and subsequent surgery to the ever-fragile Johan Franzen, and the revitalized Central Division, the case is there that the Red Wings aren't the "powerhouse" anymore that their fans have gotten so used to. But most Wings fans and Malik-esque fanboys refuse to acknowledge this.

Let's face it: going into the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals, the Red Wings were an intimidating force. The Pens hadn't seen anything like it during the season, and it was the Red Wings' year, anyway. In the 2009 Finals, the Pens were ready, and the rest is history. The Pens were one year older yet still so much younger than the Red Wings. The microcosm of the entire series came on Jordan Staal's shortie, when Brian Rafalski pretty much gave up on life.

Last year's Cup win was the changing of the guard, the passing of the torch, although the Red Wings fans themselves couldn't find a way to pass their AIDS to Pens fans. It wasn't so much a passing of the torch to the Penguns as it was a passing of the torch to a younger NHL.

If you think the Red Wings' fans' denial is sad, wait till you see the game-winning goal Chris Osgood gave up in Phoenix…

The Coyotes are now 6-2-0.
Those 12 points are leading the West Division.
"They might not even win a game this season. Man.
It will be one of the most meaningless seasons in the history of North American sports."
Pensblog, September 30, 2009
In looking up the Coyotes' record, we were stunned by a few things we saw in the NHL standings:
-Team goals-per-game: Something is in the water in Alberta.
-New Jersey is 4-0-0 on the road. They'll be at the Mellon Saturday night.
-Coyotes: 12 goals against. Jesus.
-Sabres: Stunned they're at the top of the Northeast. Only 14 GA, too.
-Toronto still hasn't won a game.
-Even with Scuds, the Kings are up there in goals against.
Boston and Philly wore their Winter Classic tuques during warm-ups Thursday night.
Go Pens.