A Season Worth of April Fools Jokes

This morning we thought about putting up some kind of joke post for April Fools.  It didn't take long for us to realize that wasn't necessary.  This whole season has been an April fools joke.
On October 1st, if someone would have uttered any of the following statements it would have been hard to believe:
"Malkin and Crosby are both out for the season."
"Man, I can’t wait till Mike Comrie comes back."
"Pittsburgh goal, his 16th of the season and second as a Penguin, scored by Alexei Kovalev!!!"
"Number 72 Alexei Kovalev."
"Where would our offense be without Tyler Kennedy?"
"If Mario Lemieux ever speaks out against violence in hockey everyone will attack him for what he says."
"Your second line tonight: Matt Cooke – Craig Adams – Tyler Kennedy."
"The Pens are getting another blue jersey."
"A Pens practice is Florida is going to be a huge deal."
"I'm so glad Fleury did the same b-boy pose that Carey Price did!"
"I don’t see Matt Cooke being a problem anymore."
"Kennedy will score more goals than Malkin."
"I'm gonna get ridiculously excited when Sid breaks a water bottle in practice!"
"FSN is going to become ROOT Sports."
"Max Talbot is our starting center today."
"Dustin Jeffrey AND Mark Letestu are injured!?  The team may not be able to overcome this."
"The Islanders will be a huge, hatred rival this year."
"Something David Steckel does will impact the entire NHL season."
"Sidney Crosby will only play 41 games but still lead Ovechkin in goals."
"Mike Richards and the guy who dresses like Hulk Hogan will probably trade insults."
Do you have any others?  Post them in C-Blog or on Twitter and we'll put a bunch in a new post later.