A Caps fan’s great e-mail

Just as it's unfair to assume all Pens fans are like us, it's unfair to assume every Caps fan is as dumb as this guy who sent us an e-mail.  We'll call him Mark, because that's what he called himself.
Here is the first piece of hate mail this year. [ email ]
"For people who think Pittsburgh is god's gift to hockey, you sure are obsessed with insulting the Capitals in words and pictures almost daily.  Do you have high school kids posting all these blogs or actual grown adults?  I guess its a good thing that the Caps hit the post in OT of game 3 when it could have easily been you down 3-0. Clearly all your skill and talent and systems were the reason you won that series and the puck knew that and that is why it did not go in that night. I am sure that having 15 straight games with a PP advantage is something that occurs regularly too.  Id like to see you find one instance of that anywhere in history. Your systems have  translated well to the regular season over the past 10 games.  Get back to me when superstar Crosby and big mouth Talbot can skate off with a win in regulation."
In this first paragraph of the e-mail, Mark comes out all systems go.  As the rest of the e-mail will prove, this Mark guy doesn't know hockey very well.  He goes off on some tangent about the Capitals hitting the post in Game 3, which shows how close the Pens were to going down 3 games to none in 2009.  But Mark forgets about all the posts the Pens hit in Game 2 in Washington.  Using Mark's logic, the Pens should've won the series 4-1 because the puck knew what was going on.  He issues a challenge to prove an NHL team has gotten a power-play opportunity in 15 straight games.  It took a hard-core researching session of 5 minutes to see the Capitals have had PP advantages in their past 15 games, including the Winter Classic.  Feels like we're missing something here.  Then Mark starts talking about the Capitals' record against the Penguins in recent regular-season games.
"Counting playoffs, the Caps record vs PIT over the past 17 games is 11-2-4 but dont muddle up your blogs with facts please. Its so much cooler watching your guys stick up their middle fingers at a t-shirt balloon…wow, original.  Its getting old all the jabs you take and generalizing of all Caps fans. Your city nearly lost the Penguins a few years back. You cant stand that 30k of our fans showed up in your building doing the same stupid things with your dumb yellow towels Pittsburgh fans have done for years."
Pens fans have been invading the MCI/Verizon Center for as long as we've been alive.  We thought it was kind of adorable to see Caps fans coming to the Winter Classic.  It's not like the NHL reserved a sizeable chunk of Classic tickets for Caps fans or anything.  We've read the part about the "dumb yellow towels" three or four times and still can't figure out what it means.
"Quite frankly, the only reason that Penguins fans are everywhere is because THEY WONT LIVE IN PITTSBURGH. I spent time there–I know why. You are welcome for all the jobs, by the way.  Fans spend more money when their team is winning. It is just a fact. Go back and look at your own attendance records after Lemieux retired and before Crosby got there. Caps fans are no different and your ignorance on an almost daily is just classless. All your blogs were railing the Capitals making fun of them ending their losing streak to OTT and then you nearly get shut out by them a few days later (fyi, CHI lost 9 in a row last year) . Then you talked how you were going to destroy us 2 weeks ago, and you barely carried the play at all. The PK of the penguins was good but not much else that night. And again, on Sunday, the Caps simply outworked  you and our goalie was not nearly as absent-minded as yours. Keep in mind that eventually things do change and you are going to take a merciless verbal beating when they do for your arrogance. The Caps , and the owner, and the fans support the team and spend good money and get great ratings and it just gets old to hear you act the way you do. Take a lesson from Crosby and show some class.  And stop thinking that you know all the Caps fans because some goons show up and get drunk. That happens in every arena every night.  Try being a good sport and talk about the play on the ice and try to forget about your obsession with the fans. Try reading some of your own posters comments nightly and see how you act."
Mark spent time in Pittsburgh.  He knows why.  Then he makes some vague reference to Washington D.C. being responsible for Pittsburghers having jobs.  According to the first part of this final paragraph, Mark has gotten the assumption somehow that we've jobbed Capitals fans for not supporting their team.  Caps fans support their team in droves. No clue where he got that.  Seems like he had something to get off his chest and started crying about it.
And where is everyone, including Boudreau, getting this "Chicago lost 9 in a row last year"?  Their longest losing streak was 3 games, which happened four times.  Just stop with this stuff, because you're embarrassing yourself.  Mark further demonstrates his lack of hockey knowledge when referencing the Penguins losing to Ottawa after Washington beat Ottawa.  Every hockey fan knows about the ebb and flow of an NHL season, so saying things like that makes yourself look like a jackass.
We are looking forward to this merciless verbal beating.
And finally, stop talking about "class" in reference to the Internet.
We've been guilty of this ourselves in the past, and it's dumb.


We're done talking about the Caps.
Tampa on Wednesday.
Go Pens.