2012 PLAYOFFS: Pens-Flyers series preview: A War For The Streets

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When it comes down to it, this series is about one thing: the streets. That sounds like either some 1950s reference or an LL Cool J song, but it is true.
 
It is Broad Street vs. Fifth Ave.
 
And we're just trying to get back to the Boulevard of the Allies.
All the bullshit we've been through this season. All we want is to have a nice big Haters Day parade in the middle of June. That is where we are at. Bandwagoner, fringe fan, media member. Doesn't matter. 
 
 
That is all that matters now.  It's win or go the fuck home and be mocked on the Internet for an entire summer.
 
Our series preview is after the jump.  We've all been poring through unlimited Pens/Flyers previews over the past couple days, so…
 
 

Matchups this season:
-Dec 8, 2011 — Vom.  PENS LOSE.
-Dec 29, 2011 — The 68 Gun Salute.  PENS LOSE.
-Feb 18, 2012 — One Night in Bangkok.  PENS WIN.
-Mar 18, 2012 — Only the Beginning.  PENS LOSE.
-Apr 1, 2012 — The storm before the storm.  PENS LOSE.
-Apr 7, 2012 — See you soon.  PENS WIN.
 
Top moment:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OM0sidyoRT4?feature=player_embedded

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Odds and Ends first.

– The Flyers are like 600-1 in CEC.
– Crosby owns all the mortgages to whatever the shit hole the Flyers play in is named.
– Comcast sucks.
– Keith Jones sucks.
– Darren Dreger sucks.
 
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Most unlikely thing to happen in the series

For the Flyers

Peter Laviolette not looking like Peter Gallagher.

For the Pens

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Arron Asham gets hit with a puck during warmups before a pivotal Game 4 in Philly. In steps local boy Eric Tangradi. He scores two goals and adds an assist.
 
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Most likely thing to happen in the series:

For the Flyers
 
Claude Giroux will be too scared to play, like he was in the last regular season game.
Picture: Claude Giroux in game action this season.

For the Pens

Having a chance to close out the series on home ice and failing. They have failed to answer the bell every time they've been in this position since the Cup win.  Hell, you can even look back at Game 6 against the Caps in '09.  The Pens haven't finished off a team on home ice since the Rangers series in '08.  The Pens first chance in the series could come in Game 5 or, God help us, Game 7,
 
:::

How to win the series:

For the Flyers
 
Troll Malkin and Crosby. The fans in Philly will be in Malkin and Crosby's mouths.
 
For the Pens
 
Troll Febryz. If there's ever been a time for Pens fans to get into a goaltender's head, it is now, in this series.
 
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Flyer who will piss you off:

 
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Sean Couturier
 
His dad sucked, too. He will be up in Malkin's shit as much as is humanly possible.
 
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CONSOL ENERGY CENTER

 
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BE LOUD
 
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MINI SERIES PREDICTIONS

– Eric Tangradi will score a goal.
– Both MAF and Bryzgalov will be pulled in at least one game.
– Double J will suffer an injury.
– Malkin will apply the final dagger in the deciding game of this series.
 
We are all previewed out.  If you came here for some long-winded breakdown, you're an idiot. We want this shit to get under way.
 
Go Pens. 
 
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Kick the tires and light the fires.
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