Woke Up This Morning

If you've been asleep for a good four or five days,
you woke up this morning, and nothing made sense.
The Flyers are up 2 games to none over Montreal.
Pittsburgh looks like the San Francisco bay.
And you undoubtedly agree with a recent Bob Smizik column.
In his column, Smizik analyzes the idiocy emanating from a recent article posted on PiratesReport.com by Paul Ladewski.
Don't know who Paul Ladewski is?
Don't worry.  His own mother has never heard of him.
He recently posted an article titled "Like Bucs, Penguins Still Have Work To Be Done."
We aren't gonna analyze it sentence by sentence, ripping it to shreds.
Basically because the article sucks too much.
For instance, here's the opening to the article.
The "belly-up" line is reason enough to make this guy turn in his life card.
Then the guy goes into some bizarre tangent comparing MAF to Bryan Bullington.
PSAMP. is all over this, too.
WHYGAVS is said to be putting together a post about this whole situation,
giving everyone the background on PiratesReport.com.
Today's answer to people who want to trade Malkin:
Why not trade Crosby instead?
If you're concerned about getting a surplus of players as you shed payroll, you'll get more for Sid.
And that lady who is crying about not being able to pay for an iPad with cash is a joke.
Apple set a limit of 2 iPad purchases per person.
They track it using your credit card.
Apple's policy itself was the reason she was even able to grab an iPad, walk to the counter with it, and get denied of her purchase.
Without the limit of 2 iPads per person, a lot of people who wanted an iPad would've been up shit creek.
Solid move by Apple.
Lady, just go get a prepaid VISA card from your bank and shut up.