Top Five: Fictional Athletes

We've never been a big fan of lists, but whatev it is summer. We want every Wednesday to be a top five list, but with a slight twist. We're asking for reader submissions. It can be a top five list about anything you want. Just email us your list, with Youtube links and pics. We'll pick the best one for the week and post it. If no one does it, really we couldn't care less.

Today's top five is actually a top eight, but whatev.

It comes from the people at Pucks N Balls.

It's the top eight fictional athletes.

"I don't know why its a top 8, but it is. I swear to God it has nothing to do with that jabroni, Alex Ovechkin."

1. Chitwood

So let’s start back a year before this movie starts when the Hickory Huskers were a very good team. We hear that they went deep into the playoffs. Fast forward to next year. New coach. No Jimmy. Huskers start playing like you would think a team that has 7 boys come out for the basketball team would. Uh oh, Jimmy’s back. Team doesn’t lose another game with Jimmy accounting for roughly 90% of the team’s scoring. The final score of the championship game is 42-40. Jimmy scores at least 32 of these points from what we see.

2.Roy Hobbs

Hobbs was well on his way to possibly becoming the best pitcher in baseball. He said he could strike out who was basically Babe Ruth with three pitches. He did. He had to be shot to be stopped. We don’t see him again til he’s well on the other side of his prime, but this time as a slugger. He must have batted .600 in this movie. Then, the only way to stop him…is to shoot him…AGAIN. Accept he parks one to win the whole damn thing that destroys the entire stadium.


3. Air Bud

Here’s the thing about Air Bud. He comes into the game, a game against humans mind you, when he is down 72-56. He puts up a triple-double in about 4 minutes. Against humans. Carries his team to an 83-82 victory. The only thing Air Bud couldn’t do was create his own shot. But I’m nitpicking at this point.


4. Steve Nebraska

In Brendan Frasier’s finest performance of his career he plays Steve Nebraska who gets signed by the Yankees but only plays one game for them. But it was in the World Series. All Steve Nebraska was throw a perfect game…striking out all 27 batters…with 82 pitches. Obviously this feat will never be duplicated.

5. Teen Wolf

Drags this incredibly awful basketball team to not only win, but be the most exciting team that ever existed. That and he’s doing handstands on moving trucks. Let’s see Lebron do that.


6. Forrest Gump

All-American kick returner. Best ping pong player in the world at one point. Ultra-marathoner.

7. Kelly Leak

Again, drags a god-awful team to compete.


8. Adam Banks

Again, this team was nothing until Banks decided to turn his back on the Hawks and become a Duck. Some will say Charlie Conway, but we all know this team stunk before Banksy showed up.