The Old Man and the C. PENS WIN.
The Pens know how to win games. You don’t.
Nothing more, nothing less.
The Nordiques played their balls off, but the world champs slowly pulled away.
With 20 wins and the 40 points that come with them, we’re watching the Penguins pull away from the pack in the Eastern Conference. The Pens didn’t reach 20 wins until three days before Jesus’ birthday last year.
Saturday night brings us the first real fun game of the season.
The Blackhawks and Hossa come to town.
What a matchup.
We’d type more here, but like 8 people read websites on Fridays.
Recap after the jump.

mike b
joshua c.
brian s.
Lauren Z.
Erika Z.
danny v
City game from the other night.
Jimmerson did the anthem.

In recent years, there’s been a long list of ex-starters, also-rans, and backups who have discovered their inner Ken Dryden against the Pens. Enter Peter Budaj, playing on the second night of a back-to-back for the Avs. When you first see “Budaj,” you’re excited at the prospect of using a “Budvag” joke. Then you realize it’s spelled with a J, not a G…and the “aj” is pronounced “aye.” Then you realize you don’t have a life.
Early on, the Avs strategy became clear: clop up the blue line and head the other way.
There was less room in the neutral zone than your mom’s face.
Pens had some chances, but Boodaye stops them all.

At some point Godard goes off for hooking. Penalty kill looks good at first. Highlight for the team comes when McKee decides to settle a bet and prove he does have brass balls by blocking a shot with his crotch while down on the ice. The puck ends up underneath him and he busts out some unreal dance moves.

We hope McKee loses the next shootout competition and is forced to rock the fade haircut. Make it happen.
Speaking of which, Potash’s pending piece about the Pens’ antics is gonna be solid.

Not long after McKeeStock, the Avs put one home in front. They celebrate like they just won the Cup. 1-0.

Pens come out storming trying to equalize. Fedotenko has a beautiful chance on the doorstep. Boodye slams the door.
Feds has a 5-goal game coming. Mark it.

It somehow takes FSN 7 minutes to connect the dots from Paul Stastny to Peter Stastny to The Save.
Like the first 10-second porn clip you downloaded when you were 14 on your 28.8k connection, you never get tired of watching it.

We watched this like 5 times.
Bob Errey had a savegasm while watching this highlight. Can’t blame him.
Adam Foote tries to pretend he’s still relevant by getting into a shoving match with Max Talbot.
What a face.

Some tic-tac-toe play fails.
Dupuis blasts a wicked shot off the faceoff, but Boob-eye flashes the leather.

Avs head back up ice.
Panic moment as Fleury dives to make a save and goes sliding on his belly right out of the crease.
Wide open net. Fortunately the Avs are too busy making out with their press clippings, so nothing comes of it.

Duncan MacLeod tries to behead Crosby and gets sent to the penalty box, complaining the whole way to the box.

Powerplay looked good, but no goals to be found. The period was winding down.
You were deciding what to do first after the horn sounded: take a piss or throw away your takeout boxes.
You probably didn’t even notice a faceoff after a hand pass.
But you did see Hejduk start up ice with it. But Malkin’s backcheck thwarted it.

End of the period, the Pens have a break up the ice. Rupp and Sid vs. Foote.
Foote tries to block the cross-ice pass by doing some move that worked in 1997.
It doesn’t work.

1-1. This team has been so clutch when it has to be.
Who cares about Crosby. Rupp is beast.
As time expires, Darcy Tucker gets in Skoula’s face.
Darcy Tucker’s most notable Mellon moment occured in January 2008:
Old-lady shush.
The first prime chance in the second period came when Malkin slowed shit down and set up Fedotenko.
Fedotenko hits the post.
The post then incurred exercise-induced headaches and gave up on his team.
Adams and some joke fought.
After some jobbing, Malkin set up Fedotenko again. No deal.
The Avs were given a powerplay to break the monotony.
They sustained pressure at the very end of those 2 minutes and earned another two minutes because of it.

The Avs thought they scored, but the ref had the intent to blow.
An intent to blow was the only reason you went to a high-school prom.
Another great screen by PENS UNIVERSE.
PENS UNIVERSE has some unreal 10-game screenshot streak going.
Darcy Tucker flips out on the call.
The Pens end up killing all those penalties. Huge.
As per the flow of an NHL game, the Pens had the next power play.
No deal. Steigerwald barely fluctuated his voice.

“Went out downtown Erie to watch the pens dominate the avalanche.
After the game, we barhopped down to another bar called Parkplace. As
I walked in, the bouncer looks at me and tells me that I can’t come
in. I ask what the problem was and he tells me that unless its the
stanley cup, he’s not letting in anyone wearing a jersey. I explain
that there was a game tonight and I just watched it at the sports bar.
He says tough shit, If I could, I would let you in, but I’m not going
to. Then he pushes his sleeve up to show me an awfully done tattoo of
the pens logo, and proceeds to kick me the fuck out.

Some fucking pens fan.

ruined my goddamn night.

After playing the previous night in Florida, the Avs’ legs and minds were sure to betray them in the third.
And they did.
After skating with the Pens the first two periods, the Avs started to make mistakes. It all started about five minutes in, when pyscho Adam Foote hooked Crosby. Penalty everyday of the week, jack. Not sure why anyone even gets excited for powerplays anymore, though. The Pens entered the zone with the swagger of a paraplegic with Crohn’s disease.
Malkin brings the puck in, and some dude jobs him. 5-on-3 city.
Pens haven’t scored on a 5-on-3 all year.
Disco orders a timeout, and the Pens trot out four forwards.
Like the move of Staal in front of the net on the first unit.
Guerin has a great chance but Buddha makes a save.
Just as the first penalty expires, Bing finds Guerin again. No miss this time.
Best fist pump of the season.
Textbook follow-through.
After that, the Pens imposed their will. Out-shooting the Avs like 10-1 at one point.
Buddha kept it close for the Avs. Tons of chances for the Pens.
Mark Eaton saved somebody’s ass with a big dive.
Tick tick tick.
Vintage FSN camera cut shot to the Avs’ bench so we can see Joe Sacco signaling to Buddha. Thanks for that. Meanwhile, Crosby makes some unreal mistake shooting the puck up the middle of the ice. Hejduk, the extra attacker, jumps on the puck and sends a pass to the far post. But the Avs can’t bang it home. Too tired.
After that, Staal undresses some dude like he’s Natalee Holloway on Carson Street. 3-1.
The Avs hadn’t had enough yet and pull Buddha again.
Crosby rubs his balls then scores another empty-net goal. 4-1.
The Penguins once went an entire season without an empty net goal. Huge.

picture 24
  • Avs are going to be interesting team to follow in the Western Conference playoff race.
  • Matt Duchesne is (going to be) nasty.
  • Crosby: 19 goals all of a sudden, 11 points in three games. Look out.
  • Tenk is scoring Saturday night.
  • Last game for Bourque ever?
  • Go Pens.
TPB Staff

About TPB Staff

est. 2006 Semi-retired