The LA Times Does Not Enjoy You

 

That is Andrew Malcolm. And he hates you.
Mr. Malcolm writes for the the LA Times. And today he went off about Pittsburgh, the Penguins, and the Stanley Cup.
 

The article is here. [LA TIMES]
 
What Malcolm is doing is going on some type of political rant, and it seems he is using the Penguins in it.
 

Here is Malcolm's profile:
 

Andrew Malcolm's immigrant parents repeatedly stressed the importance of active participation in a democracy. Early lessons included learning the alphabetical list of states by watching televised roll calls of national political conventions. That childhood exposure led to a lifelong fascination with politics, including 40-plus years of covering them and a brief stint practicing them as press secretary to Laura Bush in 1999-2000. A veteran foreign and national correspondent, Malcolm served on the Times Editorial Board and was a Pulitzer finalist in 2004. He is the author of 10 nonfiction books and father of four.

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So we gather that Malcolm is a conservative? And he hates liberals? Isn't that how it goes or something?
 

We couldn't care less about all that shit. What does bother us is we can't figure out who he looks like.
 

Malcolm is probably smart. He knows ripping Pittsburgh will get his failing papers website some hits. But much like his career the article is disappointing. It lacks a substance.
 
Which pretty much explains why he couldn't even win the Pulitzer Prize he was a finalist for.
P.s. He lost the prize to some dude with the last name of Stall.. just sayin.

After the jump a look at the article
 

 
 
 

Second paragraph:
 
The Pittsburgh team is champion of something called the National Hockey League, which really should be called the International Hockey League since it's got teams in both the U.S. and Canada.
 
And this guy was FINALIST FOR THE PULITZER PRIZE!!
What a powerful sentence. Like we can barely sit down. International Hockey League..man what a slam..hahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha lol lol lol lol lol lol
 
whatev.
 
 
The Pittsburgh Penguins are named for a bird unable to fly that doesn't live anywhere near that city. After losing ignominiously in 2008, this year the Pens won something called the Stanley Cup.
 
Yep no Penguins near the city. Got us there man. Yep, no Penguins in the city of Pittsburgh.
And rumor has it there are no Lakers in LA anymore. We're shocked.
 
 
 
Winning that trophy is a very big deal — in Canada, whose teams have been unable to capture North America's oldest professional sports trophy since seven years back into the last century when a club from somewhere in Quebec sneaked passed the Los Angeles Gretzkys, four games to one.
Montreal =Stunned.
 
 

The city of Pittsburgh was founded in the early 1800s by Pennsylvanians who weren't strong enough to make it all the way to Ohio or were rejected at that border.

Oh man. Did someone show Luke Ravenstahl this? His head might explode.
 
After some politcal bullshit, the writer finishes with this:

After nearly moving to Kansas City or back to Canada because they too wanted a new arena, this past year the Pittsburgh hockey team hired enough Canadians and Russians to defeat Detroit's Canadians and Scandinavians in the cup finals that so many people missed on TV.

 
We won't even justify that with a response. But Malcjoke has a comments section.
 

Mistake.
 

 
Go pens

 

Thanks to [Japers Rink] for the heads up.
 
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