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Start Spreadin’ The Blues. PENS WIN.

 
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On a night where the Penguins were aware of fighting cancer,
the only disease in the building was the St. Louis Blues.
 
Very rarely do you see a team so completely unprepared to play a hockey game.
Other than the Pens-Coyotes game this season.
 
The Pens stared imposing their will about five minutes into the game,
and St. Louis did nothing but bend over and take it.
 
If John Davidson is still alive, he'll surely be upset.
 
This victory pushes the Pens to 8-1.
Fleury made 4 saves to push his own record to 8-0.
 
Here's where we copy and paste our mantra
about the journey we all take during of an NHL season.
 
There's highs and lows, blah blah blah.
There will be bad games, blah blah blah.
 
There will be tribulations to overcome, blah blah — Oop.
Sergei Gonchar left the game in the second period and did not return.
Per the Trib and PG, Gonch has a hand or wrist injury; a broken bone somewhere possibly.
 
Using e-mail correspondence from people at the game and our own DVR,
we prematurely stated on Twitter during the game that it was a wrist injury.
 
It kind of blew up everywhere and reached Grover on The X post-game.
What a mistake. We're ne'er to do it again.
It's not anyone's fault; just a perfect storm.

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The Pens are expected to announce something on Wednesday.
Recap after the jump.
 
 
 
daver, curtO, crotchfacdkripla!, Itsfleuryingout2571,
nipsy, d&t, Russ Muffin, mon/chad, yogum bear,
travis k, Drew W., Eric M, HealthyScratch4,
Brian S., eileenover, kelcylyn, Brian H, OMGodard,
Gorio20, Brendon
 
What a performance yet again.
 
 
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Nothing going on at all early on. Literally nothing.

Then David Carradine went to the box for hanging himself.
The Pens power play was mud.

 
The TK-Staal-Cooke line was out of its mind. When they get rolling, look the F out.

After a jobber commercial break, the Pens come out of nowhere and score.
Mr. Kennedy.

 
1-0.
We didn't pay attention on opening night, but in this game, the P.A. announcer that's in there for Barbaro did do the "Kennedy" thing.
The announcer guy was solid tonight. We continue to support him.

Right after that, the Pens get some more pressure.
Evgeni Malkin gets to a loose puck.

 
 
2-0. Jesus.
 
Andy Murray called a time-out and yelled at his team
because they couldn't figure out what celebrity he looks like.
 
 
It failed, because the next shift the Pens were in the Blues' ass.
 
The highlight of the rest of the first period was the Versus play-by-play guy saying Disco thought this was going to be a chess match, to which the other broadcaster said something along the lines of, "Well, it looks like the Pens kinged the Blues." We hope we heard that wrong.

Sidney Crosby took his 80th penalty of the year to close out the first.

The Pens outshot the Blues 20-3 in the first period.
Those 20 shots are the most by a Pens team in the first period in like 15 years or something?

 
 
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-Crozby87-
 
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You're from Detroit. suck it
 
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Oshi had a shot early in the second period, but he had to leave because Luigi wanted to go to the castle to fight Bowser.

Crosby came out of the box and almost scored NHL10-style in front.
He grabs the puck out of the air, drops it, and tries to hit it before it goes to the ice.
Unbelievable.

The Pens kept coming. Too many men for the Blues.
 
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Fedotenko channels Alex Kovalev and snipes one. 3-0.
Then Kris Letang gets one to the net. Deflection by Cooke . 4-0.
 
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#2 Matt Cooke got the number-one star in this, a 5-1 victory.
He was basically the only dude with a goal and an assist, so he gets it.
ERIN L. with the screenshot.

After the Cooke goal, the Blues were going to the box again.
Goalie Chris Mason didn't even look like he wanted to be there.
That's what happens when you're being made to look like tyrannosaurus rex feces.
 
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Expect to see these two pics in clever Crysby montages
made by Flyers and Caps fans later on in the season.

Oshi, fresh off saving the Princess, wreaked havoc in front and maybe got a tip-in. 4-1.
It was Kariya, but who cares. The Blues looked surprised they actually scored.

Somewhere in there, Gonchar left the ice. We saw him go to the locker room accompanied by Chris Stewart.

Two dudes sitting by the Pens runway immediately left their seats and went to the locker room. You knew it wasn't good.
 
Then the Pens had their own too-many-men.
 
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That was it.
 

 
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Couple people sent in this screenshot.
 

Props to Annie, Eileen, and Stephen S. for getting Charlie and themselves on Versus.
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ConkBlock made his return to start the third. He makes a nice save on Malkin.
 
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MAF didn't make a lot of big saves down the stretch, but he did make some little saves here and there that are the difference.
Basically he gave the Blues no reason to believe in anything.
 
About midway through the period, Gods attempted a pass to Bing.
The pass didn't connect. In the old NHL, it's icing. But not anymore. Refs make the right call.
Bing makes an unrealistic pass to Al. 5-0.
 
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If you're passing up watching this video, you're making a mistake.


 


Just wait for this guy:


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Thanks to ICE ALCHEMIST once again for the quick turn-around.
 
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GAME — Fleuryous.
 
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Coming up soon will be "Behind The Photoshop: Nate B."
Buckle up.
 
go pens
 
 
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