Philadelphia Flyers: A History Littered With Conspiracies

I'm back, jack.
This time we take a look at the Flyers organization.
Yes, the coincidences are disturbing bakawk.
Before I get to that, the boys wanted me to pass this along:

Pens clinch playoff berth with win or OT/SO loss against Philly.
If it isn't mentioned during the FSN broadcast, they just don't know what's going on.


The Philadelphia Experiment was an alleged naval experiment in 1943.
The object of the experiment was to render the USS Eldridge invisible.
According to the theory (and Wikipedia) during the experiment "Some crew members were said to have been physically fused to bulkheads, while others suffered from mental disorders, and still others supposedly simply vanished. It is also claimed that the ship's crew may have been subjected to brainwashing, in order to maintain the secrecy of the 'Experiment'."
In 2007 Philadelphia conducted another experiment.  The Philadelphia Flyers signed Daniel Briere to an eight year, $52 million dollar contract.  Like the USS Eldridge years before, Briere also disappeared.  His invisibility has been denied by fans of the team, but those same fans suffer from mental disorders and have been subjected to brainwashing.
One of Philadelphia's most famous chants is "Crosby Sucks."  Many assume that the chant simply offers the Flyers fans a chance to insult Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins.  That's far from the true.  In fact, if you rearrange the letters in "Crosby Sucks" you come up with the phrase "Bucks Cry SOS."
At first glance you may not understand that statement and neither did we.  But after conducting further research we realized the shocking truth.
Sidney Crosby came into the NHL in 2005.  He was immediately verbally attacked by the Philadelphia faithful and chants of "Crosby Sucks" (or "Bucks Cry SOS") rang through the Wachovia Center.  2005 was also a strong year for the economy.  So why were the people of Philadelphia chanting that "Bucks Cry SOS?"  Did they know something about the state of the economy in the future?  What information did that have that would lead them to believe that money (or "bucks") would be in trouble (crying SOS) in the future?
It's simple.  The people of Philadelphia are affiliated with the New World Order.
No, not that New World Order.  The New World Order that controls the world's economy.  Many say that the New World Order deliberately cause recessions when necessary in order to control the masses.  Clearly the Philadelphia crowd has been encouraging this behavior for years.  They want the "bucks" to "cry SOS" because it helps them manipulate the public.
The chant isn't just a way to motivate Sidney Crosby to humiliate the Flyers, it's also part of an evil scheme to dominate the world through manipulation of the financial system.  Need more proof?  The Philadelphia Flyers play hockey in the Wachovia Center.  Wachovia is a financial services company.  The pieces definitely fit together to form a very disturbing puzzle.
The Zodiac Killer was a serial killer in California in the late 1960s.  He left behind a series of cryptic messages and letters, some of which have never been cracked.  The case remains unsolved.
Until today.
In 1969 the Zodiac Killer sent the first of his letters to several newspapers in California.  When decoded, the first part of the letter read "I like killing people because it is so much fun it is more fun than killing wild game in the forest because man is the most dangerous animal of all."
We first discovered the Philadelphia Flyers connection with the Zodiac Killer when an inside source informed us that the phrase "I like killing people because it is so much fun" is actually written on the wall in the Flyers locker room.  At first we just assumed that Scott Hartnell was just unleashing some anger and scrawling phrases on the wall, but then we looked into it further.
Paul Holmgren is the general manager of the Philadelphia Flyers.
Here is a photo of Holmgren beside a sketch of the Zodiac killer.
Case closed.
And finally, in my research, I came across the first ever message-board thread.
It was on a bulletin board in Independence Hall.
I've converted it into digital form because it's the 21st century.
SilenceDogood1776 says:
Ben Franklin

Good day.  I've invented "spectacles" that will enable a person to improve their eyesight or even to simply view everyday world in a different color.

The first color I have applied to these is orange.

Perhaps one day people can view a sporting event through these spectacles.

NightRider4Life says:
Paul Revere

Sounds retarded.
You just invented them because you're getting old as sac.
Get a life.  Before you lose it.

JohnnyBGood says:
John Hancock

Hopefully you hurt yourself, Ben, like you should have when you invented electricity.

TJtheExtreme says:
Thomas Jefferson

Hancock, you're an idiot.  He didn't invent electricity.  He discovered it.

OsayCanyouQuincy says:
John Quincy Adams


JohnnyBGood says:
John Hancock

Hey, Jefferson, look what I just "discovered" at the bottom of that stupid Declaration trash.
What's the biggest name down there?  Game.

FatherOfYourMom says:
George Washington

Fags.  This thread sucks.

BigBenArnie says:
Benedict Arnold

America sucks!  Always will.  Long live the queen.

Hey, Paul, I guess "The British are coming" runs in the family.
Your wife said the same thing last night.

TheMadHatter says:
James Madison

And why does America suck exactly?  Provide us with details.

OsayCanyouQuincy says:
John Quincy Adams

Don't feed the trolls.

TheBanHammer says:
Alexander Hamilton
I'm terminating this thread.
Maybe one day message boards will be civilized.