tuesday

NHL 10 — Special Features

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NHL 10 is here.  Having to physically buy attribute points is gay.  We uncovered some of the modes and features that didn't make the cut this year.

 

 
 
 
We uncovered plans by EA Sports to release city-exclusive copies of the game.
Fans in Detroit, Philly, etc. would have their own, city-personalized editions.
 
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"NHL 10: Homotown" was to bring a slew of features to the Detroit gamer. As soon as you put the game into your gaming console, you are asked if you would like to move your team from Detroit. This is an attention to detail that only EA Sports can bring into a video-gaming experience.
 
PRICE: The game usually runs for $60, but Detroit fans have another bargain on the table. A Detroit citizen enters into a 5-year payment agreement with EA Sports. They pay $28.50 the first two years, and then $3 a year for the last three years of the agreement.
 
Every year in the offseason, a highly sought-after free agent will sign with your team at a discount price, thinking he has a chance to win the Cup. You conveniently leave out the fact that your team is getting older every year.
 
 
It's common knowledge that Viagra doesn't bother marketing their product in the Detroit metropolis. Half of the citizens walk around with full-fledged erections once they think about what Red Wing GM Ken Holland is doing and what big-time trades and signings he's making. But for the first time, EA Sports tried to bring an erection right to your gaming console. The Homotown version came equipped with Ken Holland's Blackberry number so you can call him and see if he would sign Todd Bertuzzi. He'll probably say no. Oh, wait.
 
 
Just lost a big-time playoff series or maybe even your shot at the Golden Chalice™? Never fear. With this mode, you could go back and watch the entire game you just played and whine about something trivial, using a veteran as your shoutbox. Even better, real-life Detroit writers that are really into themselves will chime in, agreeing with said veteran. In the end, you still realize that you weren't the better team.
 
 
 
TUESDAY MODE
 
 
Feel like counting Tuesdays for no particular reason? You could have entered the new Tuesday Mode, only on NHL 10: Homotown. After you lose in the playoffs, you can start counting Tuesdays on the internet, further your idea that your team is entitled to something.
 
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Have you ever wanted to create a chant to make your arena as hostile as possible to opposing players? Well, NHL 10: Leadership almost made that possible. It was loaded with various options to mix and match chants to your liking. Want to tell an opposing player he sucks? You can. Want to boo the refs for calling an obvious penalty when someone on the home team slashes someone's stick and breaks it? You can.

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Warning: Chants directed at opposing players may result in them taking over a game or series of games and scoring a backbreaking empty-net goal at the end of the series.

 
 
In this mode, you can opt to wake a sleeping giant when you have them on the ropes. Want to cater to your fans' interest rather than your team's? You can now. Start a big-time fight when your team is in the lead then try desperately to salvage your season.
 
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Finally, the most anticipated feature in the history of video gaming is here: Leadership Mode. Put the position lock on and take control of Flyers star Mike Richards. In the latter portions of the game, if your team needs a boost, simply direct Richards to the space between the benches. Television broadcaster Pierre McGuire is there to fondle your genitals, giving you a leadership boost that could propel your team to victory.
 
 
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In this feature, you somehow try to get the Capitals back into the playoffs. Once there, however, you will be met with the realistic Choke Mode. You will be up two games to none in a playoff series and seemingly in total control, only to let questionable coaching decisions and shaky goaltending derail you. If you somehow beat the odds and manage to get to a Game 7, on home ice, no less, you may possibly turn in your worst performance in four years and your star player will give up on a play that results in a goal by Jordan Staal to make it 5-0,
 
 
CHRIS COOLEY MODE
 
The makers of Grand Theft Auto had offered their services to Washington's NHL 10. Using an accurate representation of Washington, D.C., you can walk around with Redskins tight end Chris Cooley and try to make out with men.
 

 

Tired of another franchise ending your run at the Cup year after year? Wondering why your GM doesn't sign players that fit into your game plan? Think fanbases of other teams care that someone on your team won an MVP trophy while ultimately falling short of the TEAM's goal? Washington's NHL 10, along with XBOX LIVE and the PS3 network, would have allowed you to troll message boards of other teams and make like eight "I'm never watching this team again" posts on a Capitals message board during every game.

 
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After last year's attempt, EA tried to get this going again. In the all new mode, you make out with head coach Ron Wilson for more playing time. Instead of featuring your random created player, this mode would have allowed you to take control of Luke Schenn.
 
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NHL 10: PENS EDITION
 
 
Want to show your support for the franchise only during the prosperous seasons? Well, NHL 10: Pittsburgh almost brought that. Don't go to games or participate in call-in radio shows while your team is at the bottom of the standings. But when the team gets better, you start supporting them, hoping people will forget you didn't watch hockey in 2003.
 
COMMISIONER MODE
 

Pack your bags. You're going to New York City and taking your seat in the Commisioner's chair. Your mission: Get Sidney Crosby a Stanley Cup. You will find, however, that your options from behind your desk to further your goal are extremely limited. Actually, there's really nothing you can do. If you're lucky, the on-ice officials can miss a too-many-men penalty in favor of the Penguins that has absolutely no bearing on the game or series.

FSN MODE
 
While you're playing the game, the normal EA Sports score overlay can be replaced with FSN's.
Be aware: This mode subjects you to random blackouts due to lightning strikes in Atlanta, Georgia.

Go Pens
 
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