picture 22

New Kid on the Block. PENS WIN.

Jay Mckee is like a final boss in a '90s video game right now.
Nearly impossible to beat.
Mike Rupp is scoring like it's his job.
It is a good time to be alive.
It is still way too early to be sucking each other's jarg-ons, but with every win, the Pens are creating a cushion for the tough times that can befall a hockey team throughout a season.
As for this game, Tampa Bay thought it would be a good idea to give Steve Downie playing time.
Medics rushed to the Bolts' locker room to see if they could find a pulse on Vinny Lecavalier.
Sarge Gonch had another big night, and the Pens kind of just put it in cruise.
Dating back to when he returned in the regular season last year,
the Pens' record with Sergei Gonchar in the lineup is 25-5-1.
That is staggering.
What's even more staggering is that Malkin and Bing haven't even gotten hot yet.

brian s.
danny v
brian h
St. Louis had a chance early.
The replay of the chance gets cut short 'cause FSN wants to show the next face-off.
Did Mckee break up that pass? You gotta show that replay.
Sorry, FSN. Appeasing some terds who run a blog in their spare time is not a win-win.

Orpik free-candied some joke and dislodged a contact.


Then the Pens get a powerplay.

We sometimes feel bad when the Pens jump on teams that have zero chance to win.
But then we remember what 2002-2006 was like.

So we didn't feel bad when the Pens took a 1-0 lead in this one.
What do you expect when TWO Lightning players, on the PK mind you, overpursue when they attempt to block a Malkin shot?
Malkin fakes it and the Pens instantly have numbers in front of the net.
That shit isn't in a box score.
Guerin takes his time and puts home a rebound.


You can call a penalty on me goes to the box, but the Pens kill it.

Ruster-Malkin-Kennedy held the puck for two hours in the TB zone.
They almost got a shot on net.

Gonchar takes a random slapshot out of nowhere. 2-0.

Dupes got credit for the goal. Whatev.
Tons of announcements should be coming on Sunday night/Monday.
Louis F. sent this in. Is she knitting?
Pens start the second by having to kill two penalties early.
Crosby's was killed.

Then Stamkos capitalizes on the second one.
Sick play. 2-1.

Malkin interferes with Niiitttyyymakki on a shot from the point.
Somehow still counts. 3-1.

Pens were going to the box again. Malkin jobbed Lecavalier.
Pens kill it. Malkin comes out with a freshly taped stick.
The Pens sustain pressure and get a PP of their own.

The Pens get a 5-on-3 after a couple of slashing calls.
Someone breaks Malkin's stick and then complains about it. Bizarre.

Tocchet should've put a gun in his mouth at this point.

Then the Lightning knock a puck out of play. Jesus.
Pens had to watch for a makeup call.
Pens couldn't get anything at the end of the second. Niiitttyyymakki actually cared for a minute.


Gogo made some unreal pass to Guerin.

Mike Rupp scores. Not to get all excited, but you have to be stunned by the skill Rupp possesses. No joke player.
He's #17. Too early to job Petr Sykora? 4-1.


Fedotenko goes to the box. Killed.

Too many men penalty. Yes.

It's not a true season till we get to Google-search "gay man."
Look who is in the top 5 of images on the internet.
Might be our finest accomplishment.
Tampa tries to get stuff together, but Final Boss has nothing of it. People can't even get into the Pens zone when Mckee's on the ice. He has more blocks than Manhattan. If he can somehow stay healthy, man.