Morning Pensblog: Tons of Shit

We've been liking 93.7 THE FAN.  Some good stuff on there.
Good to have a Pittsburgh sports-centric morning show to listen to.
But the playoffs are upon us.
Which means, for us personally, we hate everyone for no reason.
This morning, Tuesday morning, you got in your car at 7:00am.
For some people, the day starts off good just because your car actually starts.
Your radio dial settles in on 93.7 THE FAN.  Crystal-clear reception.
Paul Alexander's voice comes at your face.
Okay, some Pens talk.
It's all Ben Roethlisberger, all the time.
On and on they babbled and giggled about Ben Roethlisberger.
And they didn't even mention his new Shawn Michaels haircut.

Then THE FAN guys spent 10 minutes talking about the girl in the Ben ordeal.
Really?  What exactly is there to talk about?
That hasn't been talked about ad nauseam for the past month?
They were just talking to hear themselves, and it was sad.
But the point of all of this is that toward the end of Big Ben Gossip Hour,
Paul Alexander unleashes this line (paraphrased):
"Ah, well, at least the Pens are in the playoffs.
That'll help us take our minds off of this.
Dan Bylsma is joining us after the break."
What a segue into Penguins playoff hockey.
If we were Dan Bylsma, we would have somehow made it audible during the ensuing interview
that we had set our cellphone on the ground and peed on it.
Then walked to THE FAN's studio and peed on Paul Alexander's Chevy Malibu.
And took a microphone with us just so we could drop it on the ground and walk away.
This isn't a Pens fans vs. Steelers fans thing.

It's playoff hockey vs. Ben Roethlisberger's penis.
Sad state of affairs that the wang is winning.
And it's pathetic that Big Joke's first true public appearance
is gonna be during a Pens game when he's laughing it up with 66 in his box.
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We had a great first day of sign-ups.
The deadline for submitting entries is Wednesday at 5pm, so don't wait.
Some big-time posts going on at the Rinkoblog. A reader named Adam J. sent a massive spreadsheet of players stats in the regular season based on the Rinko stat outlines. The Rinko guys put it into graphs. Nasty stuff.
Also, if you are owed a free entry based on the Yahoo March Madness thing, you better contact us ASAP.

Or if you've won any of the residual Twitter contests.

After the jump, the playoff-esque posts train starts leaving the station.

Sick wallpaper from Corey C.
Playoff bracket wallpaper from Natalie Z.
If she updates it as the playoffs progress, she officially is cash.

Probably a lot more Pens-Sens previews and news starting today.

The Big Screen is back.  Charlie is standing guard in the watchtower.

Luke Bringdownthehousestahl says he wants the Mellon Arena to be destroyed. Dan Ornato compared it to the collapse of Ravenstahl's marriage, but then clarified, saying the Mellon Arena can't be brought down by strippers in the Laurel Mountains.

No clue what's going on in this pic.

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Got this – last week:
Hi guys,
Double Wide Grill (in the Southside) is sponsoring a playoff beard competition and offering a $500 cash prize for the best beard. I included a press release and poster. Think you can help us get the word out? We need people to know by the first game so that we can keep track of freshly clean faces. Thanks!!
Here is the facebook page for even more details.

$500 ain't no joke.
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One of our favorite videos of all time.
The 1994 playoff tribute from the CBC: