Man vs. Powerplay. PENS LOSE.

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It is so nauseating. Seems like every week we get to watch either some joke goalie (sans Broduer) or some joke player play out of their mind and help beat the Pens.
Last night was another push-your-grandma, make-short-talk-with-your-significant-other game of the season. If you’re Ron Cook, you can actually kill both birds with one stone.
Guilliaummeiue Latendresse had unlimited points and helped the Wild beat the Pens.
Make it a point to watch Latendresse do nothing against whoever the Wild play next.
Get it?
But no matter how well Latendresse played, the Penguins again outshot an opponent,.
And they let 6 (six) powerplay chances go by the wayside.
It’s just a sad state of affairs.
Worse yet, the Pens might be without Gonch for a little while after what he did to Clutterbuck.
Even worse, FSN is on trial for hockey fraud after hiding the footage of that Flyers goal the other night. [ Red Wings Korner ]
Continuing with that theme, there may be a crooked ref in the NHL ranks.
After the jump.
And then, on a personal note, we get word that we didn’t make a top-ten list of hockey blogs. [ Buzz Manager ]
We didn’t read that whole post because we have to shine up our Bloggers Championship Belt™ every 20 minutes.
Wonder why we didn’t make the list.
So all of a sudden, this season has become like the ending of The Ususal Suspects. Good times.

Double A.

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Right off the bat, this shit was real.
Caputi had one of the first shots of the game, exhibiting some nice patience.
Job job job.
Pens throw the puck at the net.
A bounce. Crosby’s stick.
1-0.
Huge Pens fans presence in the building.
Coming back from a commercial or something, the Versus announcers touch themselves over Crosby’s Toronto goal.
The Wild start swarming, resulting in the Pens turning the puck over more than once in their zone.
Eventually, the Pens were gonna pay.
The Wild shove one to the net. Knucklepuck. 1-1.
Coming back from another commercial, Todd Richards jobs the Versus bench reporter.
The rest of the first was a beast.
Owen Nolan hits the pipe.
Pens probably had like 8 powerplays.
Staal eliminated one by holding a stick. Wow.
During the ensuing 4-on-4, Letang gets absolutely railed.
At the end of the period, Bingo and Geno have an improvised 2-on-1.
Malkin can’t get a clean shot off.
You know Ron Cook did a fist pump after that. What a dick.
The Pensblog Twitter account is no more.
Keep following it if you rely on it for updates on postings.
We’ve divided it into two separate entities.
Derek was tired of seeing ExtenZe tweets.
And Adam was tired of all the tweets from Twilight fanpage webmasters.
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Early in the second, Guerin sets the table for Dupuis.
Dupes buries it. Unreal fist pump follows. 2-1. How good has Dupes been this year.
Not to be outdone, the Wild come right back. 2-2. Havlat city.
Pens had a 5-on-2 in the second period.
No goal. Man. Backstrom was surreal at times.

Nate B is on another level right now.

The Wild use the momentum from spending half the period killing penalties to score a goal.
3-2.
Canuck Alexandre Burrows said the ref came to him before the game and said he was gonna job him somehow.

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Out of nowhere, Eaton throws a puck to the net, and it goes in.
The goal gets credited to Crosby later on. We’ll take it. 3-3.
But the lead was about as safe as a Hot Pocket at Ron Cook’s house.
Latendresse went top shelf on MAF. 4-3.

 

Then everyone got really tired of Cal Clutterbuck.
Like real tired.
And then Gonch completely ended his life.
Can’t blame him.
We would have done the same thing.
Gonch gets a five-minute major for interference.
Even the Wild’s P.A. announcer sounded puzzled when calling a 5-minute interference penalty.
But it’s happened many, many times before.
If the Pens would have gone ahead to win the game we would have made a big deal about the fact they killed that whole thing off. And we would have had to use Earl Mann’s words.
As much as Fleury has been Aubining recently, his presence in the crease during that 5-minute kill is a reminder that he’s the least of the Penguins issues.
So, again, the PK kept the Pens afloat.
And the PP didn’t pull its weight.
The Pens get a powerplay.
Malkin has an unreal chance, but Backstrom makes the save.
The last minute or so with MAF pulled, the Pens looked like a bowl of tits.
GAME.
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  • Wonder if the CEC will be like the Xcel Energy Center? Nice place.
  • FREE POTASH.
  • FREE GONCH.

RON COOK PHOTOSHOP EXPO

Entries due by Wednesday at midnight.
In case you need some fuel to hate Ron Cook even more…
Rumor has it the number of games he has attended this year comes to a total of 1.

 

 

Go Pens.
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