Before we get to all the crying, name-calling, and taunting, let it be said…
How unreal is this series?
The hockey that is going on right now is on a level
that has surpassed anything we could have dreamed of.
If the Pens lose this game,
you punch your grandmother right in her face.
But the Pens win.
The hockey gods wouldn't have had it any other way.
After being called out after the first two games,
Malkin's name was called all night, thankfully by John Barbero, as well.
And now that we've have had a heaping of AO in concentrated form,
we can easily say that there hasn't been a scarier player coming through center ice.
But he's not scary on defense, 'cause he doesn't really play it.
And don't look for him in those skirmishes along the boards.
He just doesn't want to be there.
And his parents don't have a presence at his home games.
Maybe they're just too fat.
AO apologists will come up with excuses,
but these are just the facts.
"We didn't play our game," Ovechkin said. "I don't want to talk about Varlamov. I don't want to talk about the referees, too. They only had two penalties, it's kind of a joke."
Whatev. We're supposed to be rejoicing.
The Pens have gone from the brink of elimination to alive-and-well.
Game 4 is big.
Whoever wins carries the momentum into the quick turnaround on Saturday.
You may be a moron if you don't know that.
Who the hell scored in '89?
Phil Bourque. He was a D-man to start his career.
Guess Kaspar's 2001 goal doesn't count.
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The Pens hadn't played at home in like two weeks. The home rust was there.
90 seconds in, Tom Green dumps a puck in during a Pens line change.
MAF's life falls apart. The puck bounces right to A.O.
Really could not have started the game much worse.
If that didn't break your spirit, the next five to ten minutes would.
You can re-create most of that first period by picturing yourself walking in on your aforementioned grandmother sitting on the toilet.
Gonchar's car breaks down in the Squirrel Hill tunnels, and he goes to the box.
The Caps have a powerplay.
MAF had to make a save or two, or the game was over.
It just felt like that. He did it.
Backstrom misses on a wraparound as the Pens can't clean the zone.
You start making plans for the weekend.
Then quietly, things start to change.
Michael Nylander decided to play, and he took a stupid penalty.
The Pens get a powerplay, but Ken Dryden makes all the saves.
Malkin begins his virtuoso performance as he beats some dude to a loose puck and turns it into a breakaway.
Of course Tretiak makes the stop. He seemed unbeatable.
Under a minute to go, Bing turns Tom Poti into a skidmark, but can't beat Parent.
Thanks to Jerkcina, though, the Pens get a powerplay because he knocks the net off.
If that was Chris Tamer, it would have been a penalty shot.
The Pens get a chance off a great pass by Bill Guerin to Letang with 4 seconds to play.
But Skudra shuts the door.
Apparently, these are three Pens fans against a Caps fan.
Nothing associates these dudes with the Pens fanbase.
But let's just relish in this Caps fan getting eliminated.
The Pens begin the period with a powerplay, which means they aren't going to score.
Have they scored at the beginning of a period on the power play all season?
Is there a better way to construct that sentence?
Both teams kind of job for a little bit. A lot of odd-man breaks.
Kunitz destroys Jim Morrison's life, and that gives the Pens some juice.
A few minutes later, Letang makes a risky pass in his own zone to the right boards.
Talbot digs the puck out to Tenk and then springs ahead with him on a 2-on-1.
First bounce of the series to go the Pens' way when they needed it to,
as Tenk's intended pass to Talbot comes right back.
Caron had no chance.
Tenk really played a big-time game.
Closest stunned pic of all time.
Right after the goal, Tom Green decides to slash Jordan Staal. Idiot.
Pens have tons of chances on the PP, but Letang is stopped by Caron.
The rest of the powerplay is mud.
And then the rest of the period was really just about Sergei Federov faking injuries.
AO guns for Hal Gill, the perpetrator of Fedorov's fake injury, on the next play.
With a minute to go, Malkin runs over Varmalade going for a puck.
Tretiak then slashes Malkin in the back of the leg. Should be fined for it, no?
Powerplay ain't happening.
After a dismal second period where Washington only managed 4 shots,
they were gonna come out guns blazing in the third.
Not really. Nothing real frightening.
The Pens, on the other hand, continued to send people to the net.
And as was seen with that ridiculous slash that Varmalade put on Malkin at the end of the second, the bombardment was getting in his head.
He doesn't even bother keeping his eyes open.
After the Pens couldn't connect on their first opportunity off an AO interference,
they were still coming strong.
Fedotenko gets a chance to break free, but no dice.
Tick tick tick.
And then Malkin took over as the clock ticked toward 5 minutes left.
He stickhandles through the Capitals, and Semin has to job him.
Malkin wasn't done.
Crosby gains the zone on a pass from Gonch that was working all game.
He draws the world to him, dishes it to Malkin.
Malkin takes the long way to the high slot.
Harmless wrister. 2-1.
Ovechkin's vaj was hurting after the goal and decided to wind up the fail train on Orpik.
Easy for the photographer to snap this pic, since the photog saw Ovechkin winding up
from the neutral zone for this hit.
Later, Malkin was still dominating in the Caps zone.
Dupuis takes an interference penalty.
Who cares. Gotta kill it. They don't. 2-2.
AO forces an akward jump onto his teammates to show he enjoys the game.
Stunned disbelief as the game went to overtime.
Shades of a five-overtime marathon were dancing.
Goals had been hard to come by in this game.
The Pens get a PP chance early when Pouthier throws it over the glass.
Was that him? Did we spell his name right? who cares.
Pens can't capitalize. Just rough.
It wasn't gonna come back to haunt them.
Ovechkin had a chance with his ad-nauseam curl-into-the-slot-and-do-something play,
but the puck careened wide.
Everyone else feel good about Scoods facing the Ovechkin Play™?
He knows how to play positionally against the rush, just like your mom.
That's the matchup that both Boudreau and Bylsma have wanted.
Can't eliminate AO. Just have to contain him.
Scoods is doing the job even-strength.
Just keep Scuderi on that side of the ice.
Ovechkin can't wait to eat Hal Gill's lunch for him.
job job job.
Later in the OT, the Pens had an offensive-zone faceoff.
Faceoffs are never meaningless.
But sometimes you're just like, "meh, it's a faceoff."
Crosby wins the faceoff off the boards to Eaton.
Eaton doesn't even think and gets it to Letang.
Letang with the one-timer.
Deflection. Retribution City.
The Pens fourth line is Dupuis-Adams-Satan. Anyone honestly complaining?
Fedotenko has been everywhere in the playoffs.
Wah, amber alert for Malkin. wah.
Staal better stop being a jobber.
Craig Adams is just doing what he does.
We were gonna post a pic of our inbox of everyone who sent in that stunned pic on Versus, but we didn't feel like blacking out people's numbers. There was a lot.
Mike Lange called Letang's call. Said he had a feeling. Unreal.
Big bad Bruce was pissed after the game:
"As far as the penalties go, I hope I never hear them complaining about penalties again. I think we might have deserved the [seven] penalties, but they sure as hell deserved more than the [three] that they got.”
He then ate his own left hand.