The names have not been changed because we only know one dude's name.
This went down at the Dairy Queen down in Carnegie.
Not a good area to be this week, by all accounts.
Before you call homo on us for being at DQ,
you should introduce yourself to the DQ Misty Freeze.
We pull into the parking lot, and the shit goes down.
Before we even get to the window, we hear tires screeching and some horns beeping out on the road.
As we're jobbing in line trying to comprehend everything that is going on up on that DQ menu board,
two cars come roaring into the DQ parking lot all business.
A black dude gets out first. His car is banged up. It's a Dodge.
Black dude's name is Sonny, just so we don't have to keep saying black dude.
White dude that looks like the Brooklyn Brawler (BB) gets out of his Ford Explorer/Blazer whatev.
No dents on his car.
Sonny and the Brawler go toe to toe for a while, jawing back and forth.
Sonny walks away for a moment to cool down then comes back to BB after BB had been screaming crap.
Sonny holds his own hands behind his back, saying he doesn't want to fight, while also saying that BB better get ready to pay for the damage to his car.
Blah blah blah. BB calls him a mofo and pushes Sonny.
The fists come up.
While this was going on, some old white woman (OWW) in line behind us walked over to the altercation to break it up and got there just as the fists were to be thrown. What an idiot.
BB and Sonny go into a grapple.
BB has the leverage, as the parking lot was on a slope to his advantage, and jobs Sonny into his own car.
They roll around and grapple for a couple seconds, and Sonny goes into his ground and pound.
BB doesn't turtle, but he just leaves himself wide open for Sonny to land a punch right in the eye.
As a result, BB will be referred to as Mankind for the rest of the story.
Give Sonny credit. After this deathblow, he eased up on Mankind.
OWW comes over and tries to pull Sonny off of Mankind.
Sonny: "Get this woman off me. Get this woman off me."
Sonny's wife comes over.
We thought she was gonna give OWW the business.
But OWW backs off before the wife gets there.
Sonny's wife eases the situation, and Sonny gets off of Mankind.
Mankind and his wife disappear behind the DQ for some reason.
When Sonny and Mankind were toe to toe early in the first period, yelling at each other, someone had called the cops.
They arrive soon after Mankind and his wife go behind DQ.
The first cop that shows up doesn't even know what to do.
Reinforcements arrive. In total, 3 cops arrive within a minute of each other.
That's when these shots were taken:
This second shot shows Sonny pointing at us, saying we were witnesses to the whole thing, that we could corroborate that Mankind jobbed him first.
The wily vet of the police force comes along (the furthest to the right in the pic), which we've aptly given the moniker of Bill McCreary.
He's all bad-ass and tells Sonny that Mankind and his wife says that Sonny threw the initial blow.
Sonny is irate. McCreary refuses to come over to us and hear our eyewitness accounts.
Eventually, one of the first cops on the scene asks us for our eyewitness account.
We order our Misty Freezes. Game.
• Sonny is apparently the mayor of Carnegie. Everyone at the DQ knew who he was.
• Twitter came up huge.