unreal

Dancing Days Are Here Again. PENS WIN.

 
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Did you ever have to poop really bad?
Like so bad it felt like your stomach was flipping over.
Maybe it was on a bus.
 
Wherever it was, it was far away from a bathroom.
So you have to keep sucking it in and doing all you can not to shit yourself.
 
After the third or fourth time of going through this and battling off those the goosebumps of death, you decide to just let it go. Just let the poop fly.
 
The bathroom is too far away, and you'd rather be covered in your own feces in front of people then have fight it off one more minute.
 
That was Tomas Vokun tonight. He held back his poop for 60-plus minutes.
But in the shootout he decided to just let the kids rip.
 
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The three forwards the franchise is built around?
They all scored.
 
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If you know the actual stat, you're a joke.
But the Pens' record with Malkin's parents in attendance has to be unreal.
 
 
28
 
The Pens can finally earn the points they need to get in.
If they win out, they're in.  Easy.
 
Rangers are the 9th seed.  They have 76 points to the Pens' 78.
Rangers have 15 games left.  30 points.  106.
Pens have 14 games left.  28 points.  106.
Pens hold the tie-breaker with more wins.
 
 
 
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sasteve1025, daver, alex b., brad b., zarley juicer, adam c., trumpetchad,
andy s., joel s., russ s., brian h.
 
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Bob Errey between the benches. He doesn't look like Igor.
This goes in the same bin as the "I Potash" PS.
 
Orpik handed out some candy early, as some anus went flying.
Cooke jobbed Wilkes Booth.

We're not gonna insult your computer screen's pixels
by trying to convey what happened for most of the first period.

Charlie must have signed a contract with Florida
'cause they didn't mind the Pens being in their end all period.
We got nothin.

 
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SKO spotted Unreal Shirt 2.0 behind the bench.
 
And BOB B. found Unreal Shirt 1.5 on the NHL STORE.

 
At the end, Malkin and Crosby were money.

Guerin made a nice play keeping it alive, dishing it to Letang.
Tang to Bing on the half boards.
He boobs it to Malkin, who puts it where mom keeps the aids.
 
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1-0.

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What a pic.
Thanks to LORI M.
 
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Mr. Belvedere stunned.
 
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The Pens came out like jokes in the second.
They were playing like the game was sewn up already.

Whatever, Boynton took a shot from the point and 180-stamped it. 1-1.
MAF turns into Osgood after the goal, looking for interference.
No dice.  Did he get a high stick?

Kunitz led a rush in the second period, and you could hear scattered "Kooooon" calls in the crowd.
Just wait till April.

 
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We always wondered why the "Sabooooo" call after a big save never caught on a la MOOOOOSE.

booooooooooobs

A scramble in front, but Kunitz couldn't get the pickle stabber in there in time.
charlie

that's what he said.

Staal gets jobbed, and the Pens get a PP.
Exotic-looking powerplay with Bing at the point.
No dice.

 
Pens worked hard as balls, but Vokoun was cash.
Eventually, the Panthers scored because it is never easy. 2-1.

Thankfully, that feeling you get when the Pens are letting a game get away from them wasn't present.
They continued to get solid chance after solid chance.

 
But the Panthers played the PS3 EASHL team last night, and they hit Ballad on the backdoor.
 
They go to Toronto because Ballad sucks and has no hand/eye coordination.
They determine it's impossible to KICK something with your KNEE. 3-1.
 
Vomit.
 
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Here is Shi Ne, who dominates a show on YouTube called "In The Crease."
At first glance, you say whatev, but she's no joke.
Watch a couple of her other episodes, and you realize she's all business.
 
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iPhone wallpapers from LOU F.
 
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What can you use the Caps as an example of other than eating pee?
The fact that a quick goal to start the third can change lives.
 
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And Disco turns the tables.
 
The Pens get one when Staal jobs a loose puck in. 3-2.
The Sesame Street boys were a big deal all night, collaborative or not.
 
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-JEFF-
 
sesame

 
Two minutes later-ish, the Panthers get get an odd man break, but MAF says no.
The Pens storm back on a four-on-two.
 
Two months ago that four-on-two was Crosby, Minard, Dupuis, and Whitney.
Now its Crosby, Guerin, Kunitz, and Gonch. Gold.
 
Guerin again starts another play; pretty much squelching any lingering questions Pens fans had about whether or not he can keep up with Bing. He puts his head down and skates hard, and is all business as Crosby and Kunitz touch each other at the blue line. Kunitz finds Guerin.
He gets the shot off as a Panther jobs him. Bing deflection.
 
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3-3. yay
 
We weren't in the arena. We haven't been to too many games this year.
But we were at Monster Jam in February.
We're guessing it hasn't been that electric in the Mellon since Grave Digger did its encore freestyle run.
 
Craig Adams hits some joke.
Dupuis had the Dupuis Play™.
A rebound fatter than your mom goes to Staal's stick.
Big save by Vokoun.
 
Booth slashes someone from the balcony, and the Pens get a PP.
Takes them a minute to set up shop.
By that time, the big guns are tired.
No dice.
 
Father Time makes an appearance.
Just in time to see one of the liabilites that come with a Hal Gill player.
He has to take a penalty to thwart an easy 2-on-1.
No goal on the ensuing PP, and it's a big play by Gill.
 
What a play by Gill. Circle it.
Talbot eventually draws a penalty.
Pens can't do anything on their PP.
 
Adams-Talbot-Cooke-Gill-Scuderi have an unreal shift.
Then Mark Eaton stops a cross-crease pass; why he's had several PS expos in his honor.
 
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OT was pretty quiet. Both teams were playing not to lose, so it was whatev.
It was the Panthers fault they played that way.
They knew what awaited them in the shootout.
 
 
Letang scores.
Malkin scores.
All we care about. Game.
 
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EPIC FAIL:
 
 
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THAT'S ERIC.
 
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brian h??
 
MISELLANEOUS
  • Staal is money. Eaton solid.
  • Our beloved Carrot™ and Unreal Shirt™ were on the kiss cam, rumor has it.
  • It'd be sick if the Pens face painters had a Charlie template.
  • THE X has a Matt Cooke Mustache generator. Solid.
  • We feel like we're forgetting something. But it's 2:00 in the morning. peace
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Carrot is back, jack. Someone up there is looking down on us.
Putting Unreal Shirt™ and Carrot™ on the Kiss Cam.
 
Carrot took her jobbing like a true American.
And we now consider her an ally and a friend. She is untouchable.
But from all accounts, Unreal Shirt™ has been a problem.
It is a developing situation.
 
 

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