Citizen Cane
Potentially 3 three-day breaks.  No NBC?  Weird.
Here we go.
7:08 Wednesday night, balls were going to fall off. Ovaries were gonna turn to stone.
And here we were at 11:23 Thursday night.
Scott Walker puts home an Game 7 OT winner.
Now we have to deal with the color red for another series.
The Caps are gone, completely out of everyone's minds.
Now the Caps are forgotten.
h/t to ChrisMill
We now move our attention to a team we have no reason to hate.
To a fanbase we have zero connection to.
The Whalers/Canes and the Pens have never played in the playoffs.
Ron Francis and Tom Barrasso will be lurking in the shadows all series.
But that's not the only thing we're all gonna have to deal with.
In fact, strange as it may be,
this series has more plotlines than a John Grisham novel.
Here are the Canes-Pens games from this season.
October 23, 2008.
Pens win 4-1.
December 4, 2008.
Pens win 5-2.
January 20, 2009.
Canes win 2-1.
April 4, 2009.
Canes win 3-2 in OT.
The common thread?
Goalie Cam Ward was in net for the Canes' two wins.
He wasn't in net for the Canes' two losses.
The Staals are brothers.
First major plotline.
E-mail us with legitimate ground rules for a Staal drinking game.
If you send us trash, we'll divert your e-mail address to spam.
The official game rules will be posted Saturday night sometime.
PUCK HUFFERS has the official rules.
There's nothing more humiliating than waking up to e-mails
from people blasting you for trying to take credit for other people's babies.
We are very sorry.
Orpik vs Cole.
This incident happened in the Dark Ages.
For those not familiar, Orpik broke Erik Cole's neck:
Just listen to the depression in Lange and Errey's voice.
As you could imagine, Cole was pretty pissed off about the whole neck-breaking thing.
After the broken neck, Cole was done until the Stanley Cup Finals of that season.
His first game against Orpik wasn't until 2006.
Looking back at some of our early posts back in 2006, the subject was still an issue.[LINK]
The bigger issue is coming to terms with the fact that we used to write like that.
2006 [PG] article about the issue as well.
Cole returned to the Canes at the trading deadline this year.
But before he left the first time, he did fight Orpik in 2008:
Erik Cole is a baby.
The boos will rain down on Orpik all series.
And now we get to the serious shit.
"Woooooo" in any and all forms is banned from being used.
That's why.
The Canes bring out the Nature Boy for powerplay goals. Sickening.
Notice who else is in this clip.
That's right.
Hacksaw vs. Flair.  Seven game series.
Bill Cowher vs. Mike Tomlin
The Canes have some dumb siren thing that they use
to point out when someone is marrying their cousin.
It just pumps up the crowd before a game.
They use celebrities.  And Bill Cowher sometimes.
[Puck Daddy] had the story on this last week.
If Mike Tomlin knows what's good for him, he will be a presence this series.

Us vs. the blogger ACID QUEEN
This was really one of our first feuds on the Internet.
Holds a place near and dear to us.
It all started back on 1/18/08. We made some type of distasteful joke.
And Acid Queen flipped out. She went into our comments and cried.
We have e-mailed Acid Queen numerous times after that.
But she never cares to respond. So whatev.

Go Pens