Chris Cooley Is A Joke


Pens won the Cup. Unreal.


Joe Sakic has retired.
His name backwards is "Kick Ass."
What a career. Hall of Fame spot is reserved.
Look at that '06-'07 season.

If former Steelers GM Tom Donahue had a gun to our head
and asked us to name 100-point scorers from the '06-'07 season, we wouldn't had even thought of Sakic.

We're too lazy to go through every player on the 1994-95 Nordiques team,
but the number of players remaining in the NHL that wore a Nordiques jerseys is dwindling.
Home Nordiques jersey.
Top 5 hockey jerseys in the sport's history.

And judging by the pic, the Nordiques played their home games at the local YMCA gym.
Dumb. Stupid. Thesaurus.

The Senators recently signed Alexei Kovalev to a 2-year, $10m deal.

We're inclined to throw teams under the bus for giving outrageous contracts like this. But if you stop for a moment and realize how blessed Pens fans are with Geno and Bing, you start to realize that without these players, the Penguins would be offering these type of contracts to bring a name into the building.

Even so, Alex Kovalev's $5m-per-year days are long gone.
Let's face the facts.
The Philadelphia Flyers have been knocking at the door of the elite for the last couple of seasons.

They made it to the ECF in '08. But the Pens swept them.
This past season, they couldn't get out of the first round, but they lost to the eventual champs.
They have jettisoned Lupul, put a name between the pipes,
and Chris Pronger has signed a contract that will have him end his career in Philly.

Daniel Briere is going to eventually show that his contract is not a joke.
It is a joke either way, but he's gonna start justifying it.

Throw in Mike Richards, Jeff Carter, and Simon Gagne into the mix.
On paper, they are scary.
Looking at their situation, they obviously have to figure out their blue-line corps after the 09-10 season.
When that comes along, they're gonna look at their bucks and realize their paying Hartnell $4.2 per season.
That's one of the worst contracts in hockey.

The Flyers were annoying in the first round of the playoffs this season.
Just wait till next year.

Flyers suck anyway.
Almost forgot.
He's going into salary arbitration with the Atlanta Thrashers. The layman's definition of arbitration is that both Colby and the Thrashers go to a judge, basically, throw a salary number on the table, and try to justify it.

He made $1.2 million last year.
His stats on the anemic Thrashers team aren't too bad.
He's aiming for a raise into the $2.0-2.5m range.

That's squashing our hopes of Shero bringing him back on the ship.
He's fast, a checker, and can put the puck home.
We can name at least a few Pens on the Game 7 roster that we would have swapped with Army.

Oh well.