"NHL 10" is looming bigger on the horizon.  If you're frowning at the new Board Play feature, cringing at the thought of just being jobbed along the boards anytime you're in the offensive zone, and worried that the entire game will be like that, then you probably didn't watch any of the playoffs.  Jobbing around on the boards is what wins games.

The new Post-Play Scrum feature, whatever it's called, is probably only gonna survive this year's title only.   Half the fun of EASHL games is taking runs at people after plays.  In the Demo, post-play scrums added like 5 minutes to your gameplay time and inconsistent penalty situations resulted.

First-Person Fighting is exactly that: first-person perspective when you drop the gloves.

The ignorant lot of us think that EA Sports has made this year's title glitch- and cheese-proof.  And while EA has probably tried their hardest to trial-and-error this thing, some joke who plays the game three weeks nonstop right out of the gate will find a cheese move.  And it will spread like H1N1 through the EASHL.  Whatev.

In recognition of NHL 10's pending release, we have decided to go over some of the features in the team-exclusive versions of the game.  What features will games bought in Detroit, Philadelphia, and Washington bring to fans that buy the game in their respective cities?  We dug it up.

detroit -- ps of game cover

"NHL 10: Hockeytown" is bringing a slew of features to you, the Detroit gamer.  As soon as you put the game into your gaming console, you are asked if you would like to move your team from Detroit.  This is an attention to detail that only EA Sports can bring into a video-gaming experience.

PRICE:  The game usually runs for $60, but Detroit fans have another bargain on the table.  A Detroit citizen enters into a 5-year payment agreement with EA Sports.  They pay $28.50 the first two years, and then $3 a year for the last three years of the agreement.

HOSSA MODE:

Every year in the offseason, a highly sought-after free agent will sign with your team at a discount price, thinking he has a chance to win the Cup.  You conveniently leave out the fact that your team is getting older every year.

HOLLAND MODE:

It's common knowledge that Viagra doesn't bother marketing their product in the Detroit metropolis.  Half of the citizens walk around with full-fledged erections once they think about what Red Wing GM Ken Holland is doing and what big-time trades and signings he's making.  But for the first time, EA Sports brings an erection right to your gaming console.  The Hockeytown version comes equipped with Ken Holland's Blackberry number so you can call him and see if he would sign Todd Bertuzzi.  He'll probably say no.  Oh, wait.

HANDHSAKE MODE:

Just lost a big-time playoff series or maybe even your shot at the Golden Chalice™?  Never fear.  With this mode, you can go back and watch the entire game you just played and whine about something trivial, using a veteran as your shoutbox.   Even better, real-life Detroit writers that are really into themselves will chime in, agreeing with said veteran.

TUESDAY MODE:

Feel like counting Tuesdays for no particular reason?  Enter the new Tuesday Mode, only on NHL 10: Hockeytown.  After you lose in the playoffs, you can start counting Tuesdays.

philly

CREATE-A-CHANT, REAL-LIFE CROWD MODE

Have you ever wanted to create a chant to make your arena as hostile as possible to opposing players?  Well, NHL 10: Broad Street comes loaded with various options to mix and match chants to your liking.  Want to tell an opposing player he sucks?  You can.  Want to boo the refs for calling an obvious penalty when your home team slashes someone's stick and breaks it?  You can.

Warning:  Chants directed at opposing players may result in them taking over the game or series of games and scoring a back-breaking empty-net goal at the end of a game.

MOMENTUM KILLER MODE:

In this mode, you can opt to wake a sleeping giant when you have them on the ropes.  Want to cater to your fans' interest rather than your team's?  You can now.  Start a big-time fight when your team is in the lead then try desperately to salvage your season.

washington

CHOKE MODE:

In NHL 10: Leonsisville, you can somehow try to get the Capitals back into the playoffs.  Once there, however, you will be met with the realistic Choke Mode.  You will be up two games to none in a playoff series and seemingly in total control, only to let questionable coaching decisions and shaky goaltending derail you.  If you somehow beat the odds and manage to get to a Game 7, on home ice, no less, you may possibly turn in your worst performance in four years and your star player will give up on a play that results in goal by Jordan Staal to make it 5-0,

CHRIS COOLEY MODE:

The makers of Grand Theft Auto have offered their services to NHL 10: Leonsisville.  Using an accurate representation of Washington, D.C., you can walk around with Chris Cooley and try to make out with men.

FANBASE WITH INFERIORITY COMPLEX MODE:

Tired of another franchise ending your run at the Cup year after year?  Wondering why your GM doesn't sign players that fit into your game plan?  Think fanbases of other teams care that someone on your team won an MVP trophy while ultimately falling short of the TEAM's goal?  NHL 10: Leonsisville, along with XBOX LIVE, allows you to troll message boards of other teams and make like 8 "I'm never watching this team again" posts on a Capitals message board.

toronto

LIVING FRANCHISE MODE:

Are you playing as the Maple Leafs and find yourself in the chase for a playoff spot come March?  Simply connect to the internet via XBOX Live, and EA Sports' servers will effectually place your team where they should actually be in the standings.  You wanted realism?  NHL 10: Leaves brings it.

BE A HOMO MODE

After last years attempt, EA tried to get this going again. In the all new mode, you make out with head coach Ron Wilson for more playing time.

pens

SHUSH MODE:

BE-A-FAN MODE: Want to show your support for the franchise only during the prosperous seasons?  Well, NHL 10: Pittsburgh brings this long-awaited feature to your console.  Don't go to games or participate in call-in radio shows while your team is at the bottom of the standings.  something

COMMISIONER MODE: Pack your bags.  You're going to New York City and taking your seat in the Commisioner's chair.  Your mission: Get Sidney Crosby a Stanley Cup.  You will find, however, that your options from behind your desk to further your goal are extremely limited.  Actually, there's really nothing you can do.  If you're lucky, the on-ice officials can miss a too-many-men penalty in favor of the Penguins that has absolutely no bearing on the game or series.

Various

FSN MODE:

While your playing the game, the EA sports normal overlay can be replaced with an FSN overlay. But be careful, you're screen can go blank at any time due to lighting hitting some van in Atlanta.

NATIONAL ATHEM

EA sports had a partnership with the makers of Guitar Hero worked out before the mode was cut. In the mode, you work your way up by singing the national anthem during the regular season. Your preformance is tied into the teams. If you sing well, the team plays better. Once you work your way up, you sing before the big playoff games. EA also entertained a mode called Yanni mode, but it was canned.

REF MODE

In this mode, you put on the ref jersey and call a game. You can fix games by blowning calls on purpose. You can also accept money from Sidney Crosby before games.