Penguins Take Full Control of Series in Dominant Game 3 Win

The Pittsburgh Penguins are absolutely burying the Tampa Bay Lightning in the Eastern Conference finals. After a brief hiccup in the first two periods of game one, the last 140 minutes of hockey in this series has been under the control of the Penguins in a way we’ve yet to see through the first two series. The […]


Thoughts: ECF Game 3 – Kessel and the Pens Overwhelm Lightning for 2-1 Series Lead.

Pens 4  Lightning 2 Series: Pens lead 2-1. Goals Hagelin (5) from Kessel Kessel (7) from Bonino, Hagelin Crosby (5) (PP) from Malkin, Schultz Kunitz (2) unassisted Penalties Hornqvist (slashing) – Overly Aggressive (puts a one-handed slash on Callahan’s right hand for a slashing call…technically a penalty, but a very weak/surprising call compared to everything […]

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Looks like Shawn Michaels might be coming to Game 5

Imagine you had a time machine. And you took that time machine back to January 25th. Then you could tell yourself that the Penguins could score a goal in game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals and HBK music would play in CEC. The thought of the ShowStopper himself and Phil Kessel being in a non-photoshopped picture […]

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@ThePghCheeze founded the HBK line

The HBK line is blowing up the Internet. And it is only right that @ThePghCheeze be credited with the naming rights. The Penguins should give him free tickets in our opinion. Unlike gravity challenged Pittsburgh radio hosts who try to claim creation, it was @ThePghCheeze who first mentioned it on March 29. Thanks to Twitter’s advanced […]


Milbury’s Comments Reflective of NHL Leadership as a Whole

Last night during game two between the San Jose Sharks and the St. Louis Blues, Mike Milbury caused some  waves when he made the following comments on slashing/boarding from star players: “If you’re going to slash him, break a bone. If you’re going to hit him from behind, give him a slight concussion.” — Mike Milbury. […]


PLAYOFF GAMEDAY: Pens head to Tampa, look to raise the bar in Game 3.

Game 3: PENGUINS (1-1) at LIGHTNING (1-1) Eastern Conference Final 8:00 PM EST – NBCSN Amalie Arena – Tampa, Florida I should probably begin by mentioning that I didn’t intend to start a national conspiracy over Matt Murray’s glove. While it did appear that the puck went through his glove, as someone who employs geometry at […]


Penguins Drive Wedge Into Tampa Defensive Posture in Game 2 Win

The Penguins played game one of the eastern conference final against the Lightning like a team that was content to allow Tampa Bay to dictate where and how the hockey game would be played. Within mere seconds of game two, it was evident that would not be the case. Tampa’s three man defensive approach at […]


Thoughts: ECF Game 1 – Ugly Hits and Injuries Overshadow Hockey in Pens Game 1 Loss.

Lightning 3  Pens 1 Series: Lightning lead 1-0. Goals Hornqvist (6) (PP) from Crosby, Kessel Penalties Malkin (hooking) – Overly Aggressive (tries to reach around Hedman in the offensive zone to get the puck and wraps his stick around Hedman’s waist to pull him back for a penalty) Cullen (tripping) – Overly Aggressive (reaches his […]

NHL: Pittsburgh Penguins at Tampa Bay Lightning

Thoughts: Pens/Lightning Season Series Recap and Takeaways

As the Pens move past dealing with their Metro Division foes, there’s a bit less to work with in terms of regular season matchups and even how relevant they are. The Pens and Lightning met 3 times this year with the Pens going 0-2-1. All 3 games were under Mike Sullivan’s watch, but all 3 […]

The Jim Rutherford Apology Post

2009 – Newspaper Column

It was 2009.  Gene Collier wrote this iconic bad column.  At that time, the Penguins were battling for a playoff spot and everyone knew they could turn it around.

Except Gene Collier, who wrote:

“The Penguins can fool themselves to whatever extent they please that they earned two points that were absolutely indispensable last night, but the way they’ve played the Islanders over the past 125 minutes of ice time plus a shootout has left little doubt that they’ve kissed this season good-bye.”

The Penguins went on to win the Stanley Cup.  Gene Collier was taunted for a while, and if people still read newspaper columns he might still be. But mostly, that story faded into a black hole.

Present day – Internet

Saying a lot has changed in seven years is an understatement.  With Twitter, everything can comeback to haunt you.  That’s where this story begins.

We left the Penguins for dead.  In posts, and on Twitter.  Everywhere.  “Jim Rutherford sucks” was the hill we were going to die on.

And die we did.

And now we’re left to face that.  And quite honestly, it’s interesting.  See, on the Internet, now you get reminded of everything you said — the Internet never forgets.

Example of our timeline from today:

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You get owned by some pasty white dude posing with his three-year old son:

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But it gets worse.

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And it keeps going on and on.  Pension Plan Puppet takes some time off from covering the AHL  to retweet too:

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All that’s left is King Yinzer, Mad Chode 412, and his gang to drop the hammer:

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The stunning @ would be the final death nail knell  if we wouldn’t have defeated Mad Chode so many times on the Internet.  Can’t remember what was better: his retrospective on his own mental illness that turned out to just be laziness or his Pens Initiative stint.  Now he’s relegated to posting about our opinions and sick Vines on his, presumed stolen, 42-inch plasma in his one-bedroom apartment.

But Mad Chode isn’t the only one.

Some Penguins blog no one has ever heard of gets hot:

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When the staff of Pens Anarchy calls you retarded, it stings.  Only because you realize their site has 10 writers and still can’t copy your 2010 style correctly.


The Reckoning

In our ten years of blogging, many have tried and many have failed to kill us.  We’re all but retired, but since no one can still do it right, we’ll do it ourselves and still get more hits by 8am than all of the Penguins blogs in Pittsburgh combined.

We had to actually search the shit hole that is our own site for this, so Eat Shit:

Our trip starts in December

[ Jim Rutherford is mad in the Papers again ]

As his tenure continues to head towards its embarrassing conclusion Stone cold Jim Rutherford keeps getting more upset. Here are his latest rants:

“Am I disappointed? Yes. Makes me sick, actually,” he said. “More sick than I’ve ever been in my career when I’ve managed a team. I feel for the fans. I feel for everybody.”


Rutherford’s become a parody of himself at this point. Should be a wild last couple months with him talking out of his ass.


When Mike Johnston got fired:


Statement on the Capitals Eulogy

Pensblog President of Communications Charlie F. Sac released the following statement: ” We will not be participating in the Eulogies at Yahoo’s Puck Daddy this year. In light of Ryan Lambert’s continued employment at Yahoo, we think it is in our best interest to not waste our creative talents on the same website that a misogynist like Mr. […]