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Looking for a Spring intern

We’re looking for a spring Intern to help with daily posts, some original post ideas, and to make fun of people on the internet. Apply here: Thepensblog@gmail.com Your application needs the following: – A homemade gif – Example of previous writing ( if not make one up) – Whatever else to make it interesting. Perks: – […]

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Evgeni Malkin’s Players Tribune fill in the blank is amazing

Everyday the Players Tribune gets better and better. Today is no different. They handed Evgeni Malkin a blank card with some questions. And the answers were amazing. [ The Players Tribune ] Malkin’s answers were very interesting and his handwriting is actually really good too. His most interesting answer was that he thought Patrick Marleau […]

Game 48 Recap: A Simple Plan. Penguins win 2-0.

There is going to be a subset of people that are going to start accusing others of leaving the Penguins for dead back in late December.

No one left the Penguins for dead earlier this season.

They were dead.

But here we are at the all-star break, and the Penguins have crawled out of the shit tunnel they were in and have placed themselves into a realistic place to make the playoffs.

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Tons of credit to everyone but Jim Rutherford, really. Because he still sucks.

Mike Sullivan has waltzed into Pittsburgh and gotten Crosby and friends back on track.

We were listening to the Sullivan post-game presser until Tim Benz asked a question, but Sullivan credited Crosby for getting his game back. You’d be a giant spaz if you think Sullivan hasn’t had a lot to do with getting 87 back on track.

It’s hard to say if Sullivan did a great job unraveling the stupid plans Mike Johnston had, or if he just fixed everything by keeping the Penguins’ new plans simple.

Whatever that answer is, it doesn’t really matter. Winning games is all that matters. And Sullivan has the Penguins doing that.


 

Snore Fest 2016

Literally four things happened in this game:

1. Crosby scored:

2. Kessel scored:

3. The Devils hit the post once.

4. The Devils hit the post again.

That’s it. If you didn’t watch the game, that’s all that happened.  The Devils seem to have some random players assembled, and they just dick around the entire game. Not clue how they’ve won any games at all.


 

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– Matt Cullen seeing unlimited time. And you know what? He deserves every minute.

– It’s hard to remember one shift Kuhnhackl had. That’s not a job on him either way.

– Patric Hornqvist plays so fucking hard. Inspirational player in our opinion.

– Hagelin, man.

 


Sharts stats

lol


The return of Shero

Ray Shero was back in CEC in this one. The Pens had a tribute for him, which was nice. Jim Rutherford probably had Nam-like flashbacks of the Staal trade. No word yet if Ron Burkle took time away from sniffing Puff Daddy’s sac and eating to see it.

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Picture: Ron Burkle after eating two stacks of his own money.


Craig Adams retired

This game was so boring, Craig Adams retiring became a headline. Big goal in game 7 against the Caps.

Adams’ Hall of Fame ceremony has already been held:

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Thoughts: Game 47 – Slow Start Can’t Stop Malkin and the Penguins in 5-4 Win

Pens 5  Canucks 4 Record: 23-17-7, 53 pts Goals Malkin (21) (PP) from Letang Malkin (22) unassisted Malkin (23) from Kessel, Daley Rust (2) from Kuhnhackl Crosby (16) from Hagelin, Letang Penalties Dumoulin (tripping) – Bad (loses his balance and falls, which leads to him getting his stick into McCann’s skates and taking him down […]

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Thoughts: Game 46 – Resilient Pens Show Up to Beat Flyers, 4-3

Pens 4  Flyers 3 Record: 22-17-7, 51 pts Goals Daley (4) (PP) from Maatta, Kunitz Crosby (15) from Kunitz, Hornqvist Kessel (13) (PP) from Crosby, Hornqvist Kessel (14) from Hagelin, Lovejoy Penalties Cole (interference) – Unnecessary (steps up and knocks over Gagner skating towards him despite Gagner not having the puck) Daley (hooking) – Bad […]

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Game 46 Recap: Walks like a sellout, quacks like a sellout. Pens win.

Let’s take a live look at Vox Media’s own Turtle Hughes after the Penguins’ big win against his beloved Flyers: Huge kudos to Mike Sullivan, who did something his predecessor could not in beating the gaggle of douches in orange. Probably a signature win for Sullivan, and just at the right time.  

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GAMEDAY 46: Leaderless Flyers are still a joke, their fans forever awful

Philadelphia Flyers (20-16-8) at Pittsburgh Penguins (21-17-7) 7:00 PM EST – ROOT Sports CONSOL Energy Center – Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania They haven’t skated over someone’s face or impaled anyone with a stick, nor has a fan drunkenly punched a 10-year old kid yet, so overall it has been a pretty uneventful season to this point for the Philadelphia […]

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Thoughts: Game 45 – Pens Start Strong but Can’t Finish in 5-2 Loss to Blues

Blues 5  Pens 2 Record: 21-17-7, 49 pts Goals Kunitz (8) from Letang, Crosby Malkin (20) from Hagelin, Letang Penalties Daley (holding) – Bad (starts to lose Tarasenko skating around him in the defensive zone and uses his free hand to hold back Tarasenko for a penalty) Kunitz (roughing) – Inconsequential (gets into a shoving […]

Game 45 Recap: Way she goes. Pens fall apart in third period, lose.

The Greatest Show On Ice, the St. Louis Blues, were simply too much for the Pens on the second night of back-to-back job. It didn’t help anyone in the Milky Way Galaxy that Jeff Zatkoff got the start, but what are you gonna do. That’s the way the team is constructed. It has nothing to do with being lucky or anything.

When you have bad players in important positions, like goalie and defense (looking at you Ben Lovejoy), chances are it will be revealed. We will say this is probably a 2-2 game with MAF in net, Hagelin scores some goal, and the Pens win.

But that’s the way things have been going this season.

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The Penguins best move would be to make no move at all

Despite all their flaws, the Penguins sit one point out of the playoffs.

To recap how amazing that is, look at this:

To further that the Penguins chance of making the playoffs are hovering around 50%…

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Graph via the tried and true sportsclubstats.

So this all positions the Penguins for a pretty crazy finish to the 2015-2016 season. We’ve been saying this for awhile, but every game from here on out is huge.

The stats are pretty clear, they are going to have to finish at least five to six games over .500 in the next 38 games to give themselves at least a 50% chance of making the playoffs.


The product of no plan

uwRIWum

Our stance on Jim Rutherford will never change. Based on what we know now he was a bad hire, by a lame duck ownership group. He has no plan. He never did. He’s winging it. If you don’t believe that, that’s on you. Every move he’s made is based on a win-now, answer for later platform.

He rightfully drafted Kasperi Kapanen in 2014. Then he traded him as part of the Phil Kessel trade. He traded a first round pick for the lifeless David Perron. At the 2015 draft he drafted Daniel Sprong, then the Penguins botched that.

Of the once good young defenseman core the Penguins were thought to have, they only now have Derrick Pouliot and Olli Maatta.

He’s the same GM that openly questioned his own Ben Lovejoy trade, and added a 4-million dollar career third line signed until 2019 for an expiring contract.


 

Please god stop him from making a trade

Good internet friend Ryan Wilson had a thought about the Penguins trading for Kevin Shattenkirk.

St. Louis isn’t going to want to take on any players who are due for huge massive raises otherwise they would just keep Shattenkirk. They will either want a proven NHL commodity with term at a reasonable rate or they will want an NHL ready prospect that is cost controlled.

Pittsburgh has one of each of those. Patric Hornqvist is the proven NHL commodity that is cost controlled and Derrick Pouliot is the NHL ready prospect. While those two players may somewhat fit what the Blues are looking for I do not believe that Pittsburgh’s pieces are strong enough to beat out other teams that will take a run at Shattenkirk.

Like Ryan says though, that package wouldn’t be good enough. Plus, in our view, Hornqvist is a guy the Penguins need.

But let us circle back to our main point. The Penguins, given where they are, should stand pat. See if you can make the playoffs with the current roster. It’s a toss up anyway, so why risk another short-sighted move?

We have a feeling that isn’t going to be the case for Stone Cold Jim Rutherford, and we’ve very afraid of what that means.

 

 

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Thoughts: Game 44 – Pens Finally Get Results in 5-0 Win over Hurricanes

Pens 5  Hurricanes 0 Record: 21-16-7, 49 pts Goals Maatta (5) from Malkin, Kessel Sheary (2) from Porter, Cullen Crosby (13) (PP) from Kessel, Malkin Crosby (14) from Hornqvist, Lovejoy Daley (3) from Hornqvist Penalties Malkin (slashing) – Unnecessary (chases Skinner in the neutral zone and whacks him in the hip with his stick) Lovejoy […]

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