PHILADELPHIA, PA - JANUARY 20: Chris Vande Velde #76 of the Philadelphia Flyers checks Bobby Farnham #34 of the Pittsburgh Penguins at the Wells Fargo Center on January 20, 2015 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Drew Hallowell/Getty Images)

Season Preview: Bobby Farnham – Toy Story

Bobby Farnham as a Tom Hanks movie Bobby Farnham is “Toy Story” because the less you see him, the better. Last Season Recap Bobby Farnham’s big moment last season is when he got pumped by some reject from the Flyers: What to look forward to this season No one can believe Bobby Farnham made the team. […]


Season Preview: Patric Hornqvist – The Green Mile

Patric Hornqvist as a Tom Hanks movie We picked this movie because you can’t remember exactly what it’s about, but you know it’s good. That’s Hornqvist. You really can’t remember what he does, but you know it is generally good. Last Season Recap Hornqvist, when healthy, was a model player last year. He scored 25 goals and […]


Season Preview: Marc-Andre Fleury – The Da Vinci Code

Marc-Andre Fleury as a Tom Hanks movie Back in 2013, Pens goalie coach Mike Bales stepped in and took MAF back to the basics, and he’s become a dependable goalie. His performances against the Flyers and Islanders in the playoffs still linger in everybody’s minds, though. Still a mystery to some. Last Season Recap TEN SHUTOUTS. […]


Season Preview: Brian Dumoulin – The Terminal

Brian Dumoulin as a Tom Hanks movie Since Dumoulin has spent more time shuffling back and forth in airports than he has spent on the ice, we’re giving him “The Terminal.” Fact: The movie was based on a real guy who lived in Terminal 1 at the Charles de Gaulle Airport in France for 18 years. […]


Season Preview: Nick Bonino – Angels and Demons

Nick Bonino as a Tom Hanks movie Nick Bonino = angel. Brandon Sutter = demon. Last Season Recap He put up 22 goals for the Ducks in 2013-2014. And then got 15 more for the Canucks last year. Unless he has debilitating body odor, we can’t figure out why the Canucks wanted rid of him. What […]


Link City: The Injury Plague, Mullets, and How I Got Into Hockey

Here is what you might have missed with the Penguins, the NHL, and Erreything else. PENS STUFF – Well…they almost made it through the preseason without an injury.  Pascal Dupuis will miss the opener against Dallas with the ever mysterious “undisclosed injury.” ***UPDATE**** – Tim Erixson got put on waivers yesterday, but will stay up […]


Season Preview: Eric Fehr – The Man with One Red Shoe

Eric Fehr as a Tom Hanks movie The Man with one Red Shoe. We don’t even know the plot of this movie. Early Hanks, probably just cashing in. We just know Fehr has spent his entire career with the Capitals. Last Season Recap Scored 19 goals. Had elbow surgery over the summer and won’t be with […]


Season Preview: Ian Cole – The Great Buck Howard

Ian Cole as a Tom Hanks movie We didn’t know this movie existed until we went through Hanks’ IMDB page. The plot is the lead character becomes the new assistant to an illusionist whose skills are in decline. Illusionist: Rob Scuderi. Can’t hit a home run with all of these. Last Season Recap After coming from […]

the road

The Road: How Schedule Making Affects the Penguins This Season

The NHL season is long. Almost seven months. One hundred and eighty-six days. 4920 minutes of game time, not counting the countless hours of preparation, practice, morning skates, trainer time, press interviews, and traveling. And traveling in the NHL is a bitch too. Two countries. Sixteen states, five provinces, and one district. Four time zones.   […]


Season Preview: Evgeni Malkin and Sergei Plotnikov – Bosom Buddies

Evgeni Malkin and Sergei Plotnikov as a Tom Hanks show “Bosom Buddies.” Everything has come full circle for Evgeni Malkin. When he arrived in Pittsburgh, he couldn’t speak a lick of English and Sergei Gonchar had to be his translator. Now Malkin has to be the translator for Sergei Plotnikov. The only caveat: Malkin still […]


Season Preview: Jeff Zatkoff – He Knows You’re Alone

Jeff Zatkoff as a Tom Hanks movie “He Knows You’re Alone,” Tom Hanks’ first movie. You never really talk about it and it probably wasn’t that good, but you have to acknowledge it. Last Season Recap We have no clue what he did last season because he was in Wilkes-Barre. Thomas Greiss was the Penguins’ backup […]


Link City: Goodbye Sarge

PENS STUFF – The opening night roster is set. FORWARDS Beau Bennett (Pitt/WBS/Wheeling),Nick Bonino (VAN), Sidney Crosby (PITT), Matt Cullen (NASH), Pascal Dupuis (PITT), Bobby Farnham (PITT), Eric Fehr (WAS), Patric Hornqvist (PITT), Phil! Kessel (TOR), Tom Kuhnackl (WBS), Chris Kunitz (PITT),Evgeni Malkin (PITT), David Perron (EDM/PITT), Sergei Plotnikov (Yaroslavl(KHL)), Daniel Sprong (Charlottetown(QMJHL)) DEFENSEMEN  Adam Clendening […]


Season Preview: Ben Lovejoy – Joe vs The Volcano

Ben Lovejoy as a Tom Hanks movie In this version, Lovejoy actually jumps into the volcano. Last Season Recap It isn’t Ben Lovejoy’s fault he has become a lightning rod for criticism. Oh, wait, yes, it is. Lovejoy wasn’t good when he was here in Pittsburgh the first time around. Bringing him back may go down […]

PITTSBURGH, PA - MARCH 14:  Kris Letang #58 of the Pittsburgh Penguins checks Brad Marchand #63 of the Boston Bruins in the second period during the game at Consol Energy Center on March 14, 2015 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Justin K. Aller/Getty Images)

Season Preview: Kris Letang – The Money Pit

Kris Letang as a Tom Hanks movie “The Money Pit.” Probably one of the best early Tom Hanks movies, and it is like a direct comparison to Kris Letang’s career. Here was our reaction to Letang’s mega contract: In “The Money Pit, Hanks sinks unlimited money into a house he thinks is a great deal. But […]


Season Preview: Pascal Dupuis – Sleepless in Seattle

Pascal Dupuis as a Tom Hanks movie “Sleepless in Seattle.” Basically because at the end of the movie, no one really knows what’s gonna happen. Besides teaming up again with Meg Ryan for “You’ve Got Mail” in 1998, this marked the end of Tom Hanks’ romantic-comedy run. Thank God. This film was released in 1993 and […]

PITTSBURGH, PA - FEBRUARY 17: Troy Brouwer #20 of the Washington Capitals knocks down Beau Bennett #19 during a game against the Pittsburgh Penguins at Consol Energy Center on February 17, 2015 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Matt Kincaid/Getty Images)

Season Preview: Beau Bennett – Big

Beau Bennett as a Tom Hanks movie This is where we decided to use Beau Bennett. It makes all the sense in the world. A kid in an adult’s world. The only other option is if Tom Hanks was in a movie called “The Man Made of Glass.” Fast Fact: Harrison Ford turned down the lead role […]

DENVER, CO - APRIL 07:  Calle Jarnkrok #19 of the Nashville Predators celebrates his goal against the Colorado Avalanche with Matt Cullen #7 of the Nashville Predators who earned an assist on the play to take a 1-0 lead in the first period at Pepsi Center on April 7, 2015 in Denver, Colorado.  (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

Season Preview: Matt Cullen – That Thing You Do!

Matt Cullen as a Tom Hanks movie Went with “That Thing You Do!” just because we didn’t want to not use it. Underrated movie. It was also the directing debut for Hanks. This movie could gain a lot of new fans if one night AMC would have “Shawshank Redemption” scheduled but then trick everyone tuning […]

Pre Gm 8 Pens Canes

Thoughts: Preseason Game 8 – Preseason Dies a Quiet Death

Hurricanes 2 Pens 1 Some of my notes are likely off due to another lovely live stream broadcast. Good riddance, preseason! Goals Dupuis from Clendening, Dumoulin Penalties Crosby (roughing) – Stupid (gets shoved into the boards by Gerbe and retaliates by shoving Gerbe’s head) Perron (roughing) – Inconsequential (gets tied up with Jordan and they […]


PRESEASON GAMEDAY 8: One more for the road.

Seems like this happens every year. The initial excitement for the open of training camp slowly turns into the loathing of everything preseason. But then, before you know it, the regular season is about to hit you like an SUV driven by Caitlyn Jenner. We’re almost there. Buckle-up, buckaroos.

PITTSBURGH, PA - OCTOBER 22:  Rob Scuderi #4 of the Pittsburgh Penguins skates against the Philadelphia Flyers at Consol Energy Center on October 22, 2014 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/NHLI via Getty Images) *** Local Caption ***R

Season Preview: Rob Scuderi – Philadelphia

Rob Scuderi as a Tom Hanks movie Had to go with “Philadelphia” for Scuderi since everyone hates his guts. We were going to use Beau Bennett but didn’t have the courage. Tom Hanks’ speech after winning the Oscar for Best Actor exudes class.   Last Season Recap If you Google “Rob Scuderi” right now, you […]


Season Preview: David Perron – Polar Express

David Perron as a Tom Hanks movie “Polar Express.” The coldest player in the NHL right now.   Last Season Recap David Perron was like Kate Gosselin. Started off kind of hot but went through some kind of transformation and turned into a joke. He had 9 goals in his first 16 games as a Penguin […]

PITTSBURGH, PA - MARCH 15:  Chris Kunitz #14 of the Pittsburgh Penguins skates with the puck against the Detroit Red Wings on March 15, 2015 at the Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Matt Kincaid/Getty Images)

Season Preview: Chris Kunitz – You’ve Got Mail

Chris Kunitz as a Tom Hanks movie This was an easy choice: “You’ve Got Mail” Only because Kunitz has mailed it in since some time in 2013. Also, how dated is “You’ve Got Mail”? The main characters owned bookstores and they fostered their relationship via AOL Mail. Today they would have hooked up on Tinder, and […]