2009 – Newspaper Column
It was 2009. Gene Collier wrote this iconic bad column. At that time, the Penguins were battling for a playoff spot and everyone knew they could turn it around.
Except Gene Collier, who wrote:
“The Penguins can fool themselves to whatever extent they please that they earned two points that were absolutely indispensable last night, but the way they’ve played the Islanders over the past 125 minutes of ice time plus a shootout has left little doubt that they’ve kissed this season good-bye.”
The Penguins went on to win the Stanley Cup. Gene Collier was taunted for a while, and if people still read newspaper columns he might still be. But mostly, that story faded into a black hole.
Present day – Internet
Saying a lot has changed in seven years is an understatement. With Twitter, everything can comeback to haunt you. That’s where this story begins.
We left the Penguins for dead. In posts, and on Twitter. Everywhere. “Jim Rutherford sucks” was the hill we were going to die on.
And die we did.
And now we’re left to face that. And quite honestly, it’s interesting. See, on the Internet, now you get reminded of everything you said — the Internet never forgets.
Example of our timeline from today:
You get owned by some pasty white dude posing with his three-year old son:
But it gets worse.
And it keeps going on and on. Pension Plan Puppet takes some time off from covering the AHL to retweet too:
All that’s left is King Yinzer, Mad Chode 412, and his gang to drop the hammer:
The stunning @ would be the final death
nail knell if we wouldn’t have defeated Mad Chode so many times on the Internet. Can’t remember what was better: his retrospective on his own mental illness that turned out to just be laziness or his Pens Initiative stint. Now he’s relegated to posting about our opinions and sick Vines on his, presumed stolen, 42-inch plasma in his one-bedroom apartment.
But Mad Chode isn’t the only one.
Some Penguins blog no one has ever heard of gets hot:
When the staff of Pens Anarchy calls you retarded, it stings. Only because you realize their site has 10 writers and still can’t copy your 2010 style correctly.
In our ten years of blogging, many have tried and many have failed to kill us. We’re all but retired, but since no one can still do it right, we’ll do it ourselves and still get more hits by 8am than all of the Penguins blogs in Pittsburgh combined.
We had to actually search the shit hole that is our own site for this, so Eat Shit:
Our trip starts in December
[ Jim Rutherford is mad in the Papers again ]
As his tenure continues to head towards its embarrassing conclusion Stone cold Jim Rutherford keeps getting more upset. Here are his latest rants:
“Am I disappointed? Yes. Makes me sick, actually,” he said. “More sick than I’ve ever been in my career when I’ve managed a team. I feel for the fans. I feel for everybody.”
Rutherford’s become a parody of himself at this point. Should be a wild last couple months with him talking out of his ass.
When Mike Johnston got fired: