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PITTSBURGH, PA - MAY 22:  Tyler Johnson #9 of the Tampa Bay Lightning celebrates with his teammates after scoring the game winning goal in overtime against Marc-Andre Fleury #29 of the Pittsburgh Penguins in Game Five of the Eastern Conference Final with a score of 4 to 3 during the 2016 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs at Consol Energy Center on May 22, 2016 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Matt Kincaid/Getty Images)

Mike Sullivan’s curious Game 5

Mike Sullivan has made all the right moves. Every which way. Until Sunday night. 1. He played Marc-Andre Fleury. Even though Matt Murray had almost little to no fault in Game 4. 2. He rode with the lifeless Beau Bennett for some unknown reason. This wasn’t the Mike Sullivan we’ve seen for the last four months. […]

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Looks like Shawn Michaels might be coming to Game 5

Imagine you had a time machine. And you took that time machine back to January 25th. Then you could tell yourself that the Penguins could score a goal in game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals and HBK music would play in CEC. The thought of the ShowStopper himself and Phil Kessel being in a non-photoshopped picture […]

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@ThePghCheeze founded the HBK line

The HBK line is blowing up the Internet. And it is only right that @ThePghCheeze be credited with the naming rights. The Penguins should give him free tickets in our opinion. Unlike gravity challenged Pittsburgh radio hosts who try to claim creation, it was @ThePghCheeze who first mentioned it on March 29. Thanks to Twitter’s advanced […]

The Jim Rutherford Apology Post

2009 – Newspaper Column

It was 2009.  Gene Collier wrote this iconic bad column.  At that time, the Penguins were battling for a playoff spot and everyone knew they could turn it around.

Except Gene Collier, who wrote:

“The Penguins can fool themselves to whatever extent they please that they earned two points that were absolutely indispensable last night, but the way they’ve played the Islanders over the past 125 minutes of ice time plus a shootout has left little doubt that they’ve kissed this season good-bye.”

The Penguins went on to win the Stanley Cup.  Gene Collier was taunted for a while, and if people still read newspaper columns he might still be. But mostly, that story faded into a black hole.

Present day – Internet

Saying a lot has changed in seven years is an understatement.  With Twitter, everything can comeback to haunt you.  That’s where this story begins.

We left the Penguins for dead.  In posts, and on Twitter.  Everywhere.  “Jim Rutherford sucks” was the hill we were going to die on.

And die we did.

And now we’re left to face that.  And quite honestly, it’s interesting.  See, on the Internet, now you get reminded of everything you said — the Internet never forgets.

Example of our timeline from today:

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You get owned by some pasty white dude posing with his three-year old son:

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But it gets worse.

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And it keeps going on and on.  Pension Plan Puppet takes some time off from covering the AHL  to retweet too:

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All that’s left is King Yinzer, Mad Chode 412, and his gang to drop the hammer:

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The stunning @ would be the final death nail knell  if we wouldn’t have defeated Mad Chode so many times on the Internet.  Can’t remember what was better: his retrospective on his own mental illness that turned out to just be laziness or his Pens Initiative stint.  Now he’s relegated to posting about our opinions and sick Vines on his, presumed stolen, 42-inch plasma in his one-bedroom apartment.

But Mad Chode isn’t the only one.

Some Penguins blog no one has ever heard of gets hot:

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When the staff of Pens Anarchy calls you retarded, it stings.  Only because you realize their site has 10 writers and still can’t copy your 2010 style correctly.


 

The Reckoning

In our ten years of blogging, many have tried and many have failed to kill us.  We’re all but retired, but since no one can still do it right, we’ll do it ourselves and still get more hits by 8am than all of the Penguins blogs in Pittsburgh combined.

We had to actually search the shit hole that is our own site for this, so Eat Shit:

Our trip starts in December

[ Jim Rutherford is mad in the Papers again ]

As his tenure continues to head towards its embarrassing conclusion Stone cold Jim Rutherford keeps getting more upset. Here are his latest rants:

“Am I disappointed? Yes. Makes me sick, actually,” he said. “More sick than I’ve ever been in my career when I’ve managed a team. I feel for the fans. I feel for everybody.”

 

Rutherford’s become a parody of himself at this point. Should be a wild last couple months with him talking out of his ass.

 

When Mike Johnston got fired:

stephen.s@pensblog

Statement on the Capitals Eulogy

Pensblog President of Communications Charlie F. Sac released the following statement: ” We will not be participating in the Eulogies at Yahoo’s Puck Daddy this year. In light of Ryan Lambert’s continued employment at Yahoo, we think it is in our best interest to not waste our creative talents on the same website that a misogynist like Mr. […]

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