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What in the hell are the Penguins doing for their Home Opener

What the hell happened to this organization?  Via Kiss FM, here are the Penguins’ plans for tomorrow’s home opener.   We don’t know about you, but before this post we thought the “X Ambassadors” were a bunch of dudes that hang out at a local VFW. It’s a shame that the Penguins aren’t giving out LED […]


Thomas Greiss: CONSOL is “pretty dead”

Yeah, this always happens. An athlete starting out with a new team shows love for his new fanbase by saying they are the best in all of sports. But it’s another thing when an athlete throws a former fanbase some shade. Wow. He isn’t wrong, either.

NHL: Pittsburgh Penguins at Winnipeg Jets

It’s Already Time To Ditch The Split Power-Play

We’ve all heard the arguments over the course of the last few years that there just isn’t enough ice to go around for the Penguins star players on the man-advantage. It’s an argument I used to be able to commiserate with from time to time. The power-play, across two coaching regimes and changes in personnel […]


Thoughts: Game 2 – Phil is the Only Thrill in 2-1 Loss

Coyotes 2  Pens 1 Goals P. Kessel (1) unassisted Penalties Hornqvist (goalie interference) – Unnecessary (goes to the net and extends his arms into Richardson, which knocks Richardson over into Smith) Note: Smith definitely sold the call, but I’m not sure a call is even made if Hornqvist doesn’t extend his arms Bennett (interference) – […]


GAME 2 RECAP: No fun in the desert

Over the last two years, the Penguins have destroyed the Western Conference in the regular season. So far this year they are 0-2 and haven’t exactly set the world on fire. The excuse factory will say they’ve run into two hot goalies, but how hot can two goalies be two games into a season? Mike Smith […]


GAMEDAY 2: Penguins in the desert.

Pittsburgh Penguins (0-1) at Arizona Coyotes (1-0) 10:00 PM EST – ROOT Sports Gila River Arena – Glendale, Arizona The Pens looked less-than-good getting shutout in the season opener Thursday night in Dallas, but there’s good news! The Coyotes were pretty much the joke of the NHL the second half of last season. From January […]

DALLAS, TX - OCTOBER 08:  Jason Spezza #90 of the Dallas Stars collides with David Perron #57 of the Pittsburgh Penguins in the first period at American Airlines Center on October 8, 2015 in Dallas, Texas.  (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

What They’re Saying Wrap Up: Pens vs. Stars

The new look Penguins debuted last night and was shut down by a goaltender that was run out of Chicago and San Jose.  The offense put up a lot of shots and scored none, while the defense was just “meh”. But enough about what I think. But what did Dallas Stars fans say about the […]


RECAP. Game 1. Pens Lose 3-0.

Hey, welcome back, everyone! The Pens and their offense hype machine pulled into Dallas with high expectations. And then they got shut out. Antti Niemi played well, but the Penguins played and looked like a team with seven new players in their lineup, and then Beau Bennett. Everything is probably going to be okay.

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Thoughts: Game 1 – Fire Everyone, Pens lose opener 3-0

Stars 3  Pens 0 Goals None Penalties Bonino (hooking) – Overly aggressive (tries to reach for a stick-lift on Spezza in the offensive zone and gets his stick parallel into Spezza’s hands for a hooking call) Bennett (holding) – Overly aggressive (follows Spezza in the defensive zone and tries to reach past him to get […]

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Postgame Thoughts: An Explanation

Pens season is finally upon us, so here’s a rough explanation/template of the postgame thoughts I’ll be delivering all season. Note: I have always called these “thoughts” posts because everything is subjective to a degree, so always remember that and never take anything I say as complete fact. They’re just my observations and they work […]

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Season Preview: Phil Kessel – Castaway

Phil Kessel as a Tom Hanks movie “Castaway.” No better movie sums up Phil Kessel. He was cast away in the hell of an island that is Toronto and had to talk to Dion Phaneuf, who has the IQ of a volleyball. Last Season Recap So much has already been made of Kessel’s final year in Toronto. He […]


Season Preview: Sidney Crosby – Captain Phillips

Sidney Crosby as a Tom Hanks movie Obviously. Last Season Recap A pedestrian 84 points in 77 games. Still, though: 84 points in 77 games. He’s a pretty decent hockey player. What else is there to say, really? What to look forward to this season Kessel Kessel Kessel. Crosby and Kessel’s left winger could be Jung-Ho […]

SUNRISE, FL - JUNE 27:  Daniel Sprong poses for a portrait after being selected 46th overall by the Pittsburgh Penguins during the 2015 NHL Draft at BB&T Center on June 27, 2015 in Sunrise, Florida.  (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

Season Preview: Daniel Sprong – Splash

Daniel Sprong as a Tom Hanks movie “Splash.” Whatever. Last Season Recap Last season, Sprong was playing for the Charlottetown Islanders in the QMJHL, a team which, unless you are really in tune with junior hockey, you’ve never even fucking heard of. Sprong’s fall in the draft is curious, but whatever. He scored 39 goals and […]

VANCOUVER, BC - FEBRUARY 1:  Adam Clendening #44 of the Vancouver Canucks skates up ice during their NHL game against the Minnesota Wild at Rogers Arena February 1, 2015 in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.  (Photo by Jeff Vinnick/NHLI via Getty Images)

Season Preview: Adam Clendening – Turner & Hooch

Adam Clendening as a Tom Hanks movie   Because he might have to play with Ben Lovejoy at one point this season. Last Season Recap He played 21 games in the NHL last season. Came to the Pens over the summer in the Brandon Sutter trade. He’s only 22 years old and has had some good […]


Season Preview: Olli Maatta – A League Of Their Own

Olli Maatta as a Tom Hanks movie Just because Olli Maatta is that good. Geena Davis dropped the ball on purpose, and it ruined the whole movie. Your little sister lives in your shadow her whole life, and instead of making her work to beat you, you just let her win. That’s not the way to […]


Season Preview: David Morehouse – Forrest Gump

David Morehouse as a Tom Hanks movie Forrest Gump. No need to explain. Last Season Recap People get really upset when we make fun of David Morehouse. And that’s okay. Because we really, really don’t care. Morehouse’s loudest defenders will tell you he is just the President of the Penguins and that he has no […]

PITTSBURGH, PA - JUNE 23: Jim Rutherford of the Carolina Hurricanes attends day two of the 2012 NHL Entry Draft at Consol Energy Center on June 23, 2012 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Season Preview: Jim Rutherford – Saving Private Ryan

Jim Rutherford as a Tom Hanks movie “Saving Private Ryan” was about an impossible task. And that is kind of what Jim Rutherford is dealing with. He has to juggle a massive roster overhaul while still keeping the Penguins a contender. One could argue, though, that if Jim Rutherford was Tom Hanks in “Saving Private Ryan,” […]


Season Preview: Mike Johnston, Rick Tocchet, and Gary Angnew – Apollo 13

The coaching staff as a Tom Hanks movie Apollo 13. Because they are possibly leading a doomed flight. Or they can make Walter Cronkite cry on the air and win the Cup. By the way, Tom Hanks rattled off “Apollo 13,” “Forrest Gump,” and “Philadelphia” from 1993-1995. Three iconic movies in two years. Impossible to find a […]

PHILADELPHIA, PA - JANUARY 20: Chris Vande Velde #76 of the Philadelphia Flyers checks Bobby Farnham #34 of the Pittsburgh Penguins at the Wells Fargo Center on January 20, 2015 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Drew Hallowell/Getty Images)

Season Preview: Bobby Farnham – Toy Story

Bobby Farnham as a Tom Hanks movie Bobby Farnham is “Toy Story” because the less you see him, the better. Last Season Recap Bobby Farnham’s big moment last season is when he got pumped by some reject from the Flyers: What to look forward to this season No one can believe Bobby Farnham made the team. […]


Season Preview: Patric Hornqvist – The Green Mile

Patric Hornqvist as a Tom Hanks movie We picked this movie because you can’t remember exactly what it’s about, but you know it’s good. That’s Hornqvist. You really can’t remember what he does, but you know it is generally good. Last Season Recap Hornqvist, when healthy, was a model player last year. He scored 25 goals and […]