GAME 50 RECAP: Broken Down Fleury

Here’s how the game went in one pic: It felt like the Pens had no chance in Hell of winning this game. People were freaking out that Malkin was out for maybe two games and that Eric Fehr is gonna be out for a month. It’s far from the end of the world. The Florida […]


Thoughts: Game 49 – Crosby’s Natural Hat Trick Puts Away Senators in 6-5 Win

Pens 6  Senators 5 Record: 25-17-7, 57 pts Goals Cullen (5) from Hagelin, Dumoulin Letang (7) from Crosby, Kunitz Kunitz (9) unassisted Crosby (18) (PP) from Letang, Malkin Crosby (19) (PP) from Kessel, Malkin Crosby (20) from Kunitz, Hornqvist Penalties Kuhnhackl (embellishment) – Bad Call (grabs the arm of Cowen as Cowen is holding him […]


GAME 49 RECAP: Saved by the Crossbar. Penguins hold on for another W

Remember back when the Penguins got Phil Kessel over the summer and everyone thought there would be games like 6-5 every night. And then Mike Johnston ruined hockey for half the year? Knowing the NHL like we think we do, this game is probably a foreshadowing of what the next 33 games are going to […]

Screen Shot 2016-02-01 at 10.04.52 PM

The Sudden Death II story we never finished

So back in 2010 we, Rick City, and Stephen S started talking about making a story about Sudden Death II. When we (Derek and Adam) started the blog long ago, we did a story called “Jobbers.” We always wanted to do another story. By then we had become friends with Stephen S. What people don’t […]


Sullivan Has Penguins Primed For Serious Second Half Run

The Penguins enter the the 2nd half of the NHL season clinging to the final spot in the NHL’s wild card position courtesy of a nice three game win streak to close out the first half. After a tumultuous start to the Mike Sullivan era, the Penguins have righted the ship and are playing some […]

Screen Shot 2016-01-31 at 4.57.45 PM

All Star Gameday Live Thread

The All Star Game is being live streamed on Malkin and Letang will play in the first game. Actually looking forward to this game for some reason.

during the 2016 Honda NHL All-Star Skill Competition at Bridgestone Arena on January 30, 2016 in Nashville, Tennessee.

The All-Star Skills Competition was actually pretty cool

We don’t know about you, but growing up NHL fans, watching the All-Star Skills Competition was always a major highlight. Because of technology now, we get to see players every night that 20 years ago we’d only get to see during the playoffs. Over the years it has lost it’s luster. But for some reason […]


Looking for a Spring intern

We’re looking for a spring Intern to help with daily posts, some original post ideas, and to make fun of people on the internet. Apply here: Your application needs the following: – A homemade gif – Example of previous writing ( if not make one up) – Whatever else to make it interesting. Perks: – […]

Screen Shot 2016-01-29 at 6.52.34 PM

Evgeni Malkin’s Players Tribune fill in the blank is amazing

Everyday the Players Tribune gets better and better. Today is no different. They handed Evgeni Malkin a blank card with some questions. And the answers were amazing. [ The Players Tribune ] Malkin’s answers were very interesting and his handwriting is actually really good too. His most interesting answer was that he thought Patrick Marleau […]

Game 48 Recap: A Simple Plan. Penguins win 2-0.

There is going to be a subset of people that are going to start accusing others of leaving the Penguins for dead back in late December.

No one left the Penguins for dead earlier this season.

They were dead.

But here we are at the all-star break, and the Penguins have crawled out of the shit tunnel they were in and have placed themselves into a realistic place to make the playoffs.

Screen Shot 2016-01-26 at 9.48.52 PM

Tons of credit to everyone but Jim Rutherford, really. Because he still sucks.

Mike Sullivan has waltzed into Pittsburgh and gotten Crosby and friends back on track.

We were listening to the Sullivan post-game presser until Tim Benz asked a question, but Sullivan credited Crosby for getting his game back. You’d be a giant spaz if you think Sullivan hasn’t had a lot to do with getting 87 back on track.

It’s hard to say if Sullivan did a great job unraveling the stupid plans Mike Johnston had, or if he just fixed everything by keeping the Penguins’ new plans simple.

Whatever that answer is, it doesn’t really matter. Winning games is all that matters. And Sullivan has the Penguins doing that.


Snore Fest 2016

Literally four things happened in this game:

1. Crosby scored:

2. Kessel scored:

3. The Devils hit the post once.

4. The Devils hit the post again.

That’s it. If you didn’t watch the game, that’s all that happened.  The Devils seem to have some random players assembled, and they just dick around the entire game. Not clue how they’ve won any games at all.


Screen Shot 2016-01-26 at 10.39.04 PM

– Matt Cullen seeing unlimited time. And you know what? He deserves every minute.

– It’s hard to remember one shift Kuhnhackl had. That’s not a job on him either way.

– Patric Hornqvist plays so fucking hard. Inspirational player in our opinion.

– Hagelin, man.


Sharts stats


The return of Shero

Ray Shero was back in CEC in this one. The Pens had a tribute for him, which was nice. Jim Rutherford probably had Nam-like flashbacks of the Staal trade. No word yet if Ron Burkle took time away from sniffing Puff Daddy’s sac and eating to see it.


Picture: Ron Burkle after eating two stacks of his own money.

Craig Adams retired

This game was so boring, Craig Adams retiring became a headline. Big goal in game 7 against the Caps.

Adams’ Hall of Fame ceremony has already been held:

2016-01-26 22_31_30


Thoughts: Game 47 – Slow Start Can’t Stop Malkin and the Penguins in 5-4 Win

Pens 5  Canucks 4 Record: 23-17-7, 53 pts Goals Malkin (21) (PP) from Letang Malkin (22) unassisted Malkin (23) from Kessel, Daley Rust (2) from Kuhnhackl Crosby (16) from Hagelin, Letang Penalties Dumoulin (tripping) – Bad (loses his balance and falls, which leads to him getting his stick into McCann’s skates and taking him down […]