crosbyross

Cam Ward. PENS LOSE

 
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All season long, everyone has been searching for the reason the Pens are struggling.
Powerplay is mud.
Wingers are ineffective.
Stanley Cup hangover.
 
The list gets longer and longer by the day.
But at what point do you stop looking for reasons?
At what point do you just say you got beat by the better team that night?
 
Four minute powerplay with 4:15 remaining. Cam Ward stood on his head.
Find all the reasons you want. Cam Ward won the game. No one lost it.
 
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[Hand Of Godard]
 
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Crosby went off with an injury 20 seconds into the game. He's turning into Big Ben.
But the next time he was on the ice, he drew a penalty.
 
 
Malkin gets the Pens PP on the board, just like the good ol' days.
 
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1-0.
 
The Pens put themselves behind their own balls when Letang and Scoods head to the box 30 seconds apart.  Huge 5-on-3 on the way for the Canes.
 
Towards the tail end of the two-man disadvantage, Eaton actually won a faceoff.
Zigomanis being out for the season doesn't matter.  Eaton does it all.
MAF was all business on that PK.  Huge saves.
 
The Pens were getting some decent chances for the rest of the period, but Cam Ward was on fire.
 
The Canes got their 20th power play of the first period when Cooke jobbed Walker.
Walker forgets he plays in the NHL, and then goes and vomits in the locker room. Joke.
Even a hot goaltender is no match for Isaac Newton.  1-1.
 
After that, nothing really happens.
Everyone at home is just waiting for a commercial for the movie "Taken."
 
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Meet NHL linesman Jay Sharrers.
Why is it important to know who that is?
Because he is the A-hole that was kicking people out of faceoff circles like it was going out of style.
Sharrers personally ruined the second period.
 
Even better, Eric Staal got away with an interference penalty and went to the net.
 
2-1
 
Carolina handled the play in the second.
 
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It was pretty clear that this was going to be a goaltending duel from the beginning.
Both Ward and MAF were stellar in the third period.
 
The Pens had a chance midway through, but Satan doesn't even know whats going on anymore.
 
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We hate to start jobbing any Pens players.
But this photoshop was too good not to use.
What a disappointing season for Satan.
 
After that, there was like eight minutes left.
Play stops all of a sudden.
 
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You wanted it.
Too many men.
 
Here is a screen-cap of our computer searches over the years.
Try explaing that one.
 
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Anyways, the Pens try to setup, but Cam Ward is seeing everything.
Under four minutes to go, the game is already over.
Malkin gets crosschecked in the face — four-minute penalty on the Canes.
Cam Ward owns your life.
 
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Game.
 
 
MISCELLANEOUS
  • Somewhere, at a buffet, Acid Queen celebrates.
  • Will "Taken" have a midnight release?
  • All Star break city.
  • If the playoffs started today, we'd be golfing.
  • VOMIT
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