Joe Thornton had this awesome quote regarding the reaction he would have if he scored four goals like his teammate Tomas Hertl:
“I’d have my cock out if I scored four goals. I’d have my cock out, stroking it.”
That is a fair reaction in our opinion. But that is probably the end game. What are the other appropriate reactions? We scaled through several celebrations and developed a complex set of rules to identify the correct celebration.
For just one goal, it would require some heavy petting. Act like you've been there before but set the stage.
A large, freedom-setting thrust is OK'd for the second goal. Two goals are a game-changer.
Two celebrations according to the scale algorithm are acceptable.
The big balls celebration
Grab your sac.
A good grab sets the stage::
Obviously you whip it out and stroke it. Also, this song plays immediately in the arena:
We will periodically review this scale, so please feel free to submit your own suggestions and possible exceptions.