STUNNED: First paragraph of Jeremy Roenick’s book (UPDATED)

Around the middle of December, Jeremy Roenick apparently came out with some book about his existence.  We aren't even sure if this already made the rounds during the lockout, but old friend @tawm23 directed us to a Reddit page that has a screenshot of the first paragraph of Roenick's new book:


UPDATE:  The context of the paragraph doesn't make it as fun.  We were under the assumption the book was only gonna be one page long anyway.  Thanks to mahstah in the comments.