Five Predictions for the Penguins season

We've already looked at the DefenseGoalies , and 11 Forwards

It is always bizarre to make predictions, especially when you get it really wrong. But, hey, not everyone writes for the Trib, so whatev.

We wanted to predict a few things so we can look back in late April and make fun of ourselves or proclaim ourselves the greatest people of all time for getting something right.

Crystal-ball time after the jump city.

The Penguins will not win the Division

Sorry, brah. The Rangers are stackedtown. And the Flyers are like 34-0 against the Penguins. 

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The Penguins will finish…

27-18-3. 4th seed headed into the playoffs.

Tyler Kennedy will score more than 10 goals

Whaaaaaat

Goal of the season will be scored by…

Sidney Crosby in some game against the Bruins. No idea why we feel this.

The Penguins will lose in the second round to the Capitals

In a 7-game series that will include Dale Hunter returning to hit Bylsma with a steel chair in Game 6, A.O. will score a OT goal in Game 7 to stun the world. The Pens will fire Bylsma after the game and replace him with Iron Mike Keenan.  They will also fire Ryan Mill.

Pens will trade prospects for an established defenseman

Their two first-round picks at the Draft make us think this.  A Jordan Staal for Brandon Sutter/Dumoulin trade straight-up would've made sense for the Pens since they were at least gonna get something for Staal, who was gonna bounce anyway.  Instead, Shero somehow procured a first-round pick from Carolina.  Pens need D now, not in four years.  Shero has the luxury of dangling an extra first-round Draft choice in a deal.

Someone reading this will win the lottery and give us money

This gives us a conversation starter if someone does in fact win the lottery.

Kris letang's baby story will be exposed as a hoax

We see it being a fabricated story to get a sect of the Pens' fanbase of his back.  He will cry at the press conference and will shave his head.

Tomas Vokoun will win 10 games

He's gonna get 10 starts, at the very least.  He may go undefeated.  Should really spice up the goalie talks.

We will pee ourselves at 3:00 on Saturday

 

 

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